Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML
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Top comments
Bussed 0
There are still options at that point...
ironwords 8
??? are you the product of incest?
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Comments (98)
onceuponapenis 0
dude that's when you just keep going, never heard of a double nut?
somethingnew319 0
dam u ****** fail big time
tonyihopness 0
omg! is ****** realy a verb?
rainergeis 0
Derp
tman118 0
I did
hrtstealer 0
think of statistical stuff. you won't be having a girlfriend in 2011 if you can't last 5 minutes.
bibbit 0
um I don't get what you mean by "make it"
i_wuz_nver_here 31
he didn't last long enough.
SeveralLake 18
You may be too young for this app
eric62086 0
thats just horrible...
JESUSlives4MUSIC 0
noob...
MrPresidentBoss1 0
Only seven minutes away. Time to man up. I doubt that you could have made that happen at the exact minute.
Andyangels27 0
Brett favres a fagget