Love and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to...

By Queenbee26 - 23/11/2017 21:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 247

You deserved it 547

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Same thing different taste

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 4 442

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 9 297

By BustedEgo - 23/03/2014 05:31 - United States - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 815

You deserved it 7 326

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 852

You deserved it 16 533

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 6 869

Smell test

By smellybelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 592

You deserved it 4 726

By Elizabeth Ann - 19/08/2018 03:30

Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 269

You deserved it 347

Turn me on

By wot02 - 27/07/2015 02:02 - United States

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 3 305

Belly Finger

By ihmmil - 18/01/2020 14:00

Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 325

Love language

By Anonymous - 07/05/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 392

You deserved it 4 103

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 25 October 2017 15:12

Well, flick his bic then tell him to turn his head & cough while gloving up & see how he likes it.

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 25 October 2017 19:58

Such a romantic...

Comments

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 25 October 2017 15:12

Well, flick his bic then tell him to turn his head & cough while gloving up & see how he likes it.

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 25 October 2017 19:58

Such a romantic...

TeachAllTheMath 19

Friday 24 November 2017 6:23

Time to take him back to basics.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 November 2017 6:30

I can see this happening in the 80’s, but it’s inexcusable in the era of free Internet ****. In ****, you never see nip-flicking or navel-fingering. Well, maybe in some fetish bullshit...

Little Richard 11

Friday 24 November 2017 9:54

Dad, please stay off the computer.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 November 2017 15:49

Now, you hush up, son! If it weren't for me using some of the tricks I learned from the "training videos" on your mom, you might not even be here! She particularly likes when I ... oh, wait, you might not want to hear that.

weeping_willow 25

Friday 24 November 2017 9:31

This is just saddening, honestly.

Little Richard 11

Friday 24 November 2017 9:53

you need a real man?

manb91uk 22

Friday 24 November 2017 9:32

Sounds like he’s trying to activate a lightbulb... He does know vaginas don’t work that way? Right?

Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16

Friday 24 November 2017 13:15

Based on the gender shown for the OP and the mentioning of a BF I’m gonna assume it wouldn’t matter if they had a quick start guide for a vag...

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 24 November 2017 11:35

You must thank his ex for that. Probably worked for her.

Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16

Friday 24 November 2017 13:15

*him

PhantomCrevan 8

Friday 24 November 2017 16:59

The United States Sex Ed program putting your taxes to work, people. Aren't you so grateful that certain conservative groups have thrown such huge fits about a mandatory class that it is effectively useless in most places?