Well, flick his bic then tell him to turn his head & cough while gloving up & see how he likes it.

Such a romantic...

Time to take him back to basics.

I can see this happening in the 80’s, but it’s inexcusable in the era of free Internet porn. In porn, you never see nip-flicking or navel-fingering. Well, maybe in some fetish bullshit...

Dad, please stay off the computer.

Now, you hush up, son!

If it weren't for me using some of the tricks I learned from the "training videos" on your mom, you might not even be here! She particularly likes when I ... oh, wait, you might not want to hear that.

This is just saddening, honestly.

you need a real man?

Sounds like he’s trying to activate a lightbulb... He does know vaginas don’t work that way? Right?

Based on the gender shown for the OP and the mentioning of a BF I’m gonna assume it wouldn’t matter if they had a quick start guide for a vag...

You must thank his ex for that. Probably worked for her.

*him

The United States Sex Ed program putting your taxes to work, people. Aren't you so grateful that certain conservative groups have thrown such huge fits about a mandatory class that it is effectively useless in most places?

It's working so good, I am feeling it over here as well.

I agree, your sex life sucks.