By cacheson - 2/3/2020 12:07

Forever Alone

Today, I finally felt the inspiration to write creatively again. I worked for an hour on a character concept before I realized I'd actually created an imaginary sister/best friend for myself because I’m so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1344

You deserved it

181

Tweet

Share

Commando

Poisoned chalice

Unrequited

By brycepetrillo - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67064

You deserved it

3962

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15306

You deserved it

254917

Tweet

Share

By whytoday

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10024

You deserved it

44643

Tweet

Share

By foutu - France

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26604

You deserved it

7678

Tweet

Share

By worstwaytodumpagirl - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46883

You deserved it

3538

Tweet

Share

By annonymous - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25791

You deserved it

6915

Tweet

Share

By Chester (Seattle) - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31853

You deserved it

5788

Tweet

Share

By Stinkycar

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3555

You deserved it

506

Tweet

Share

By Whatdididowrong?

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39250

You deserved it

12329

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41089

You deserved it

3919

Tweet

Share

By niccy - United States

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29462

You deserved it

10433

Tweet

Share

By Brendan - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28874

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By work -_- - United Kingdom - Mitcham

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52156

You deserved it

3754

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

I agree, your life sucks

48714

You deserved it

32865

Tweet

Share

By angry girlfriend - United States - West Harrison

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47164

You deserved it

5639

Tweet

Share

By Ah piss - United States

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27033

You deserved it

3875

Tweet

Share

By potassiumgirl - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11988

You deserved it

38655

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18233

You deserved it

43582

Tweet

Share

By maddie94 - Australia

Stained

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12352

You deserved it

54430

Tweet

Share

By Crushed

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip this weekend so that she won't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9791

You deserved it

1137

Tweet

Share

By Honey Badger - United States

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14692

You deserved it

23003

Tweet

Share

By badessaymyass - United States - Phoenix

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52991

You deserved it

4571

Tweet

Share

By master baiter - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30831

You deserved it

43569

Tweet

Share

By Jennifer - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19101

You deserved it

10601

Tweet

Share

By indian:( - United States

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8970

You deserved it

32991

Tweet

Share

By HairyLeggedItalian - United States

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24677

You deserved it

9180

Tweet

Share

By bathtime - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30817

You deserved it

4186

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19600

You deserved it

7160

Tweet

Share

By BigKid - 28/1/2021 21:30

Grow up

Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

214

You deserved it

974

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Czech Republic - Ceska

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15475

You deserved it

31625

Tweet

Share

By hated - United States

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17095

You deserved it

77441

Tweet

Share

By sayno - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30976

You deserved it

11282

Tweet

Share

By dontbuysamsung - United Kingdom - London

Today, my mobile phone wouldn't turn on. I took it in to the phone store, but they won't fix or replace it because the account is in my dad's name, not mine. He's abroad for the next month, and the only way to get a hold of him is on a number I only stored on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26058

You deserved it

5731

Tweet

Share

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - Sweden - Uppsala

Bad timing

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61441

You deserved it

6606

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37284

You deserved it

4419

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sweden - V?ster

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32492

You deserved it

7179

Tweet

Share

By jenny2989 - United States

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11806

You deserved it

17967

Tweet

Share

By the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom - London

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

I agree, your life sucks

48220

You deserved it

4536

Tweet

Share

By fail - United States

Today, I worked a car wash as a fundraiser. Being nice I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47570

You deserved it

11383

Tweet

Share

By Sad - 3/1/2021 11:01

Tock follow tick follows tock…

Today, after my grandfather died a month ago, my grandmother had a massive stroke. I have a sinus infection but had to be tested for Covid. I need it to show negative so I can say goodbye to the most influential woman in my life. I don’t know that results will be back in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1084

You deserved it

51

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By P DarklyKira | 14

#7886772 - Monday 2 March 2020 12:19

I know. I created an imaginary best friend for 6 years now. It sucks but I somehow I feel less lonely until I realise he is imaginary

By kthulu | 1

#7886874 - Monday 2 March 2020 22:36

all good art comes from suffering, you got a head start, use it! (I've written 3 books I suffer a lot)

COMMENTS

By P DarklyKira | 14

#7886772 - Monday 2 March 2020 12:19

I know. I created an imaginary best friend for 6 years now. It sucks but I somehow I feel less lonely until I realise he is imaginary

By RichardPencil | 29

#7886814 - Monday 2 March 2020 17:50

Get a dog. They are real and want to be your friend...with benefits.

And in this case, "benefits" means food and shelter.

Reply

Gubbon | 8

#7887039 - Tuesday 3 March 2020 18:30

The dog gives him shelter?

By kthulu | 1

#7886874 - Monday 2 March 2020 22:36

all good art comes from suffering, you got a head start, use it! (I've written 3 books I suffer a lot)

By WistayShlaio82 | 13

#7886939 - Tuesday 3 March 2020 4:01

Things sure have changed since I was a kid

By distortedcognition | 17

#7887070 - Tuesday 3 March 2020 20:10

I’ll be your friend. Hit me up