Love: Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday...

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 4 516

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 3 686

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 273

You deserved it 18 560

By JadedBaker - 08/07/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 1 992

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 722

The cake from hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 18:00

Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 197

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 590

Smashed

By Mr. Headshot - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 022

You deserved it 3 583

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 186

You deserved it 3 316

By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 038

You deserved it 257

Just a prank has its limits

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 17:34 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 328

You deserved it 3 297

SKITTLZ2000 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:06

You should be happy that someone went through the effort to try to make you happy, even if it didn't turn out great.

cutycat136 28

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:05

Depending on how close you two are or how long you have been in the relationship, you could have just told her. I'm sure if she had some too and you weren't saying anything, she was thinking it too and just wasn't saying anything either. If you had have said something maybe she would have understood and took you out somewhere or went and bought you a new cake instead :)

Comments

mwali02 32

Tuesday 12 May 2015 2:41

Couples cooking classes to help her step up her game. You could also learn a thing or two, and it could be great for your couple! Make it look like a romantic gesture, and give her the gift for her birthday. It could very well save many of her loved ones lives. Good luck! :)

myanichole 22

Tuesday 12 May 2015 2:50

It was sweet of you to make her feel appreciated, but it's probably best that you tell her, but not be rude about it.

bballer4_life 14

Tuesday 12 May 2015 3:26

That's really rude and disrespectful at least she tried

mine___turtles10 13

Tuesday 12 May 2015 3:39

That's why you taste your creation to assure the customers don't die of food poisoning

brvnnx 18

Tuesday 12 May 2015 3:40

Happy birthday! For her birthday maybe you should get her some baking classes, jk.

Clevelandians 17

Tuesday 12 May 2015 3:42

She is trying to kill you. FYL

RockRoyalty92 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:05

Why not be thankful that she thought of you and tried to do something nice for you?

natethegreateqb 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:26

Ayers my birthday was today

walshtm 10

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:27

Don't be mean about it at least she tried. It's the thought that counts

nursecait 8

Tuesday 12 May 2015 4:46

Am I the only one curious as to how in the world the cake became so deformed and what happened to make it taste like play dough? Or what was in it that caused OP to vomit? Hahaha errr, maybe I think too much lol

mergeterge 24

Tuesday 12 May 2015 9:13

Nope! I'm curious too. I know play dough has a lot of salt, so maybe she accidentally used salt instead of sugar? And so much flour or baking soda/powder that it rose at a crazy rate? That would be my guess...