Love: Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday...

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 4 516

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 3 686

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 273

You deserved it 18 560

By JadedBaker - 08/07/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 1 992

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 722

The cake from hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 18:00

Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 197

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 590

Smashed

By Mr. Headshot - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 988

You deserved it 3 576

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 186

You deserved it 3 316

By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 038

You deserved it 257

Just a prank has its limits

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 17:34 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 328

You deserved it 3 297

SKITTLZ2000 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:06

You should be happy that someone went through the effort to try to make you happy, even if it didn't turn out great.

cutycat136 28

Tuesday 12 May 2015 0:05

Depending on how close you two are or how long you have been in the relationship, you could have just told her. I'm sure if she had some too and you weren't saying anything, she was thinking it too and just wasn't saying anything either. If you had have said something maybe she would have understood and took you out somewhere or went and bought you a new cake instead :)

Comments

abbeybaby_fml 13

Wednesday 13 May 2015 10:31

Quit complaining. At least she went out of her way and did something sweet for you.

DovahShep 20

Wednesday 13 May 2015 13:00

the Thought that counts I guess?

thejzabs 25

Thursday 14 May 2015 3:50

At least she tried! Don't be a dick

myoukei 31

Friday 15 May 2015 16:11

@op's girlfriend: gold star. You tried.

noluckimblessed 11

Saturday 16 May 2015 16:04

relationship goals: good job that must have made her happy

CandyApple88 13

Sunday 17 May 2015 0:15

you need to tell her the truth. Otherwise she will just keep baking you these stomach stones.

Druu 53

Sunday 17 May 2015 8:09

NO! It has finally happened. One of the "happy birthday to me" fml submissions finally made it. A moment of silence for the old guard FML moderators. *removes hat*

AlwaysCyndi 6

Friday 5 June 2015 20:46

you're an ungrateful ass.

Mibby 11

Sunday 12 July 2015 5:29

Don't tell her. She'll get better naturally. But that must have been some sucky cake that you threw up. If she doesn't show improvement why don't you try doing a little baking to show her how it's done. ;)