Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SKITTLZ2000 16
You should be happy that someone went through the effort to try to make you happy, even if it didn't turn out great.
cutycat136 28
Depending on how close you two are or how long you have been in the relationship, you could have just told her. I'm sure if she had some too and you weren't saying anything, she was thinking it too and just wasn't saying anything either. If you had have said something maybe she would have understood and took you out somewhere or went and bought you a new cake instead :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
abbeybaby_fml 13
Quit complaining. At least she went out of her way and did something sweet for you.
DovahShep 20
the Thought that counts I guess?
thejzabs 25
At least she tried! Don't be a dick
myoukei 31
@op's girlfriend: gold star. You tried.
noluckimblessed 11
relationship goals: good job that must have made her happy
CandyApple88 13
you need to tell her the truth. Otherwise she will just keep baking you these stomach stones.
Druu 53
NO! It has finally happened. One of the "happy birthday to me" fml submissions finally made it. A moment of silence for the old guard FML moderators. *removes hat*
AlwaysCyndi 6
you're an ungrateful ass.
Mibby 11
Don't tell her. She'll get better naturally. But that must have been some sucky cake that you threw up. If she doesn't show improvement why don't you try doing a little baking to show her how it's done. ;)
thatVWgirl 12
At least she cared enough to make you a cake, even if it was bad