Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
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Top comments
SKITTLZ2000 16
You should be happy that someone went through the effort to try to make you happy, even if it didn't turn out great.
cutycat136 28
Depending on how close you two are or how long you have been in the relationship, you could have just told her. I'm sure if she had some too and you weren't saying anything, she was thinking it too and just wasn't saying anything either. If you had have said something maybe she would have understood and took you out somewhere or went and bought you a new cake instead :)
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Comments (108)
enginsteve 17
Your an ass. I would love it if someone remembered my birthday, let alone got me a birthday cake.
Thorzix 23
A dick for actually going through eating a cake that made him throw up? "your" an idiot, mate.
ryenn 8
You dick
daemonsparta 16
its the thought that counts?
TheTripleThreat 9
You shouldn't complain, remember that other girl that was serving and her whole family came in and made her life a living hell on her birthday? and no tip. Be happy
Cebolamole 13
Did anyone else eat it, and if so, did they have the same reaction as you?
Goblin182 27
Its amazing what men will do for love. and by love I mean sex.
whovian424 0
I have to say, it's so sad that your girlfriend is, obviously, trying to do something nice. And all you think is "poor me." you are lucky you still have a girlfriend.
a1_z9 10
Oh gosh, I love baking for people but I always fear it's going to turn out like this! Maybe you could suggest baking something together and you can watch for where she's going wrong and gently correct her? Plus it's super fun.
Jackskelling96 13
Good manners though, good for you
lux_final_spark 18
you sound a bit ungrateful, but that's none of my business