Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
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Top comments
SKITTLZ2000 16
You should be happy that someone went through the effort to try to make you happy, even if it didn't turn out great.
cutycat136 28
Depending on how close you two are or how long you have been in the relationship, you could have just told her. I'm sure if she had some too and you weren't saying anything, she was thinking it too and just wasn't saying anything either. If you had have said something maybe she would have understood and took you out somewhere or went and bought you a new cake instead :)
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Comments (108)
Morning_fml 22
Everybody so far is telling you to lie to her and act like her cake wasn't horrible. Apparently it was, and you should tell her. It's not disregarding her feelings if you tell her the truth, there's a difference between being honest and being an asshole. Tell her, OP. It's better than suffering from her bad baking and lying to her.
pleasedie 22
I would've told her how bad it was but that I appreciated the thought... But hey, that's just me.
AdamPractical 18
Wonder what she thought as she ate her own cake...
xx000o 27
When the toilet finally got its turn, was it able to eat the cake?
cari_cat 19
My boyfriend tried to make me a birthday cake, it burnt and crumbled apart. We managed to salvage a piece and stick a candle in it. I always laugh about it and call it the birthday biscuit. Don't worry OP, stories for the kids :)
Roythetickler 21
Well happy birthday to you OP
mohner 9
You did the right thing. You ate nasty cake like a man, puked it up, and your girl doesnt need to know. She will bake again and it will get better.
russfml 31
It won't get better if she doesn't know. She will just keep making the same awful cake that leads to puking
Emfiasz 18
I would kindly insist she have a bite, and intently watch for her reaction. There's a good chance that the outcome of today would have been laughter rather than vomit.
crystalxuk 25
At least she tried!! Stop being so ungrateful.
leogachi 15
You don't know that he isn't grateful. Hell, he ate it to protect her feelings because it tasted horrible, that doesn't sound like something an ungrateful person would do.
Morning_fml 22
You seem to be missing the point of "FML".
DoomedGemini 38
I was slightly put off by how he described the cake, seemed pretty mean..
ZombieSazza 34
At least she cares enough to try and bake a cake for you.
mads_nicole 19
Geez dude, I'm sure she did her best. Give your girl the respect that she deserves. Damn.
leogachi 15
What part of this is disrespectful?
mads_nicole 19
He doesn't have to complain and act like it ****** up his life or anything. He could be respectful and appreciative. Yeah, maybe it sucked. But he doesn't have to bash about it over the Internet. There are plenty of other ways he could've handled that.
rockwrench 18
So why are you here if not to read what's bashed around FML #21. She went out of her way and so did he. Sounds like a lot of love going on between OP and girl friend. Sometimes you just have to be a trooper and take the good with the bad.