Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
TheNewGuy03 29
the obvious solution to this would be to buy latex pants with a scratch-and-sniff sticker of freshly sexed vajayjay. i mean, there could be no confusion after something like that, right? |the kid|
KLern 0
"freshly sexed vajayjay"... hahaha what an awesome phrase
thatyngboyryan 1
you should have asked her to taste it see if it tasted like latex
Blue87 4
lol Eww
vampgirl11295 4
that reminds me of the song "can I smell your dick" (yes, it's a real song)
KLern 0
I don't care how paranoid you are, who the **** would consider smelling a sweaty dick? she must feel great about her life...
DisturbedFacade 0
9/10 cheaters r more nervous about their boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them then other way around. Break up with the bitch
joxynn 2
You should have told her she hurt its feelings and to kiss and make up.
mpclaw 3
run from this control freak bitch! now.
xdust 4
dump her. you don't want to marry someone like that so move on.
ALEXLASFLA 0
that chick deserves a dick slap. do it the next time she try smelling.