Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
mcflygrrl 0
Read the comment and my post about him cheating on me assholes. Then maybe u'd understand.
racsistninja 0
yea Ik so y r u still with him?
audrina12 0
she has really bad trust issues with you and it probably isn't all her fault. you might have done something in the past that really hurt her, and when you get hurt in a relationship it really takes a toll on your emotions. from being in her position not trusting your boyfriend is the worst feeling ever. so cut her some slack and just tell her you love her and won't hurt her!
kalbrek009 20
smelt???? smelting is what you do when you're melting and pouring some type of metal...lead, gold, silver into a mold to make something...I believe you meant "smelled" your penis...you obviously can't speak intelligently, so no wonder she's suspicious & you're stupid to stay with her so both a FYL & YDI @ the same time, although shes probably cheating on you and is pointing the finger your way to take the attention off of herself...my brother accused his ex of cheating because he was cheating & 1 of my exes did the same to me when she cheated.
mcflygrrl 0
yeah he did cheat on me...while I was preg and after i had the baby, and no he isn't the brightest bulb in the bunch....but neither am i for still being with his sorry ass.
Obelia 3
Wow, talk about ignorant. We all speak different forms of 'english'. Where I am from, smelt is the correct word to use in this instance. Now, in regard to the FML. Run OP, very fast. If you can't even go to the gym without her suspecting you of cheating then you're not going to have much of a life. I've known girls like this, they never change and will make your life hell. Find someone who appreciates you and doesn't mind you doing your own thing from time to time. A true, decent relationship is not smothering each other but making the most of the time you are able to spend together and still being able to have time to have a hobby, friends etc.
chulamami916 6
You should've just slapped her w it. hahaha.
mcflygrrl 0
Haha you are so ******* funny. Way to be original like every other comment on this pg. How about you take your own dick or someone who is nearby and choke on it you piece of shit. He cheated on me while I was pregnant. Really how many times do I have to ******* post this before someone gets the message.
Obelia 3
erm, ok, he cheated on you and I understand how you can be upset about that but people are replying to the op's post, not yours. People do make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, we should all be given the opportunity to change. Some people do and learn from their mistakes, others, unfortunately don't. Obviously your bf is making an effort if you are still together. Some women make the mistake of continually rubbing it in their faces and end up pushing them away. Honestly, if you feel that he hasn't or can't change then why are you still with him? If you really think he's going to do it again then leave, if you think that he can change then give him the benefit of the doubt. You're not doing yourself or your child any favours (and yes, I spelt that correctly, and yes, spelt is a word) by staying and continually being suspicious of the poor guy, especially when it looks like he is making an effort.... So, either leave or just get on with your lives, making him relive it every time he goes anywhere without you is not going to build a strong relationship!
Bossman11 6
Lebron's career
luvlylayd 0
Yummm...crazy broad....I agree run!
slinkydee 2
i had a bf that used to do the same kind of weird stuff to me. funny thing is, i was either at home, work (where he also worked), school, or with him, so even if i wanted to, it wouldve been pretty hard for me to cheat on him. either you guys need a big talk or you need to move on, op. that seriously sucks. you can do better.
purple91 8
A girl is only that way if she is badly cheated on. So either YDI or FYL for dating someone who some other fuckhead has already cheated on.
Obelia 3
Not necessarily. I have known girls like this that were never cheated on, they were just too paranoid for their own good. Needless to say, their relationships didn't last.
cheerchick4life 0
will?
cheerchick4life 0
Will? is this you who posted this story?
MazDanRx795 1
Not very foolproof. What if you ARE cheating but not using a condom?