Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
johnnie254 7
Girl: "Let me smell your dick!" OP: "What the..?! Err..hmmm...ugh, go head head go head *all aggravated*...! Kiss the muthafucka while you down there too!"
dwilhelm 7
dump her crazy ass NOW!
autumn2412 0
Maybe you gave her a reason to suspect it or she's just crazy..
Ray_of_midnight 23
She's got enough issues to open up a newsstand. DTMFA. She's crazy. That kind of lack of trust doesn't lead anywhere good.
KYLAisaBITCH 4
next time wear a condom while working out, then she will be right it smells like latex. but wrong about you cheating.
mbrooks5110 0
Wow you need to break that off. She's psycho.
prettygabbie 0
haha, wow! ewe!
rdoll 4
a female sheep??
krysld2004 0
So she smelled it then... Not smelt. Or that would have been melting it down
TheNewGuy03 29
both spellings are acceptable depending on your country of origin. not everyone lives in america, i'll have you know. also, as for the melting thing, the infinitive form would be "[to] smelt." as a point of reference, the singular third-person conjugation would be "he/she/it smelts." ya know? :D |the kid|
DReamBig24 0
"smelt"? smelled....
cutie1322003 1
she's probably cheating on you... that's why she's so paranoid.