Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
Today, we got a dog. My husband was adamant that we should name him Gonit, so I agreed. A friend asked what the name meant, and my husband said, "Why wouldn't you name a dog Gonit?" Then I got it. FML
Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaimed, "That was amazing Drew." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name, which doesn't sound anything like Drew. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
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Top comments
lickastick 27
Doesn't matter, had sex
Emmamazing 26
At least your girlfriend has a good sense of humour about it, OP.
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Comments (61)
Ahall8 0
Not necessarily a bad thing....for a quickie
mzshannababy 16
shes clever
thenielsens 12
Buurn!!!
americanafrican 32
Fastest one around
thathoeoverthere 7
I feel like they can be an insult or a compliment.
musicaddict245 6
That's probably the name of her ex boyfriend
losercancer 9
Mine was named "Inglorious Basterd" once..
Papa_Moti_Junior 4
Your girlfriend is going places bro.
HaplessChef 4
slow your roll. (stamina is an aquired skill...perfect practice makes perfect) ;)
lilfox67 13
Better than squirtel lol