By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks 73 853
You deserved it 16 875

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Tippssy 0

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

That is awesome!


That is awesome!

z3r0ram 0

Tell her it's evolving War Turtle or Blastoise

So, just name her vagina lucy

Agreed. FML? More like MyLifeisG.

Sessee 4

fuckin' lol.

lmmmr 0

Haha, FYL because your girlfriend is hilarious. That must really suck for you.

JoeJoe711 0

haha, name her Jigglypuff cuz after she sings you go to sleep;)

I'd name it "Chansey," #43.

i love naming penises! lol

Now you can say "SQUIRTLE, I CHOOSE YOU." while getting an erection

Name hers Cloyster.

seb12992 0

Number 25 ftw.

allocomrade 0

THAT IS FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y is this an FML? ok, maybe you don't like pokemon, but i am telling you that is awesome. now everytime u get a hard on you can say "hey baby, you wanna say hello to blastoides?"

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Um, I'm pretty sure she didn't name it for being turtle-like, probably because it SQUIRTS

I named my boyfriends BLASTOISE to make him feel better

delfinofrank 0

I can't think about pokemon now without thinking about dicks :(

bbobe900000 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHA oh. my. god. these comments are the funniest thing I have seen on this website. and I agree with everyone who says it's not a FML. it is amazing, I say your girlfriend is awesome.

25, I think I love you.

"She turned my Magicarp into a Gyarados."

Oh god, I'm tearing up from that comment. FTW!

you should call ever vagina muk and if she ever gets an STD and you hav sex with her,u should call her charizard,cuz u kno its gonna burn like hell

I wish I had a penis so I could name it 'squirtle' ;(

EPIC FUCKING WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

CourtneyDanielle_fml 9


HAHAAHA YES! 116 = Best response EVER.

unkinged44 0

name her boobs weezing becuase one is bigger weezing pic for non pokemon fans

what the fuck us a blastoise. why do people like pokemon. i am soo confused

cearalaken 0

why is your girlfriend so awesome?? haha

pandamuffins 0

No... name hers... Mike Litoris. (my clitoris)

HeavySleeper 0

haha tha's rich :D

Epickitty58 29

354- You know, there's this cool new thing, called the INTERNET, where you can look up, or in fancy scientific terms, GOOGLE, ANYTHING at all. It's crazy! It's so crazy! The first time I tried it, I was, like, 6 YEARS OLD. Maybe you can find out, oh, I don't know, EVERYTHING about Pokémon THERE. I hear that now you can get it on ANY DEVICE THAT YOU WROTE YOUR COMMENT ON. *cough cough* fucktard *cough cough* I LOVED POKÉMON BEFORE I COULD USE THE INTERNET.

Benjashby 0

say hello to my kakuna, im afraid its only attack is harden :P she culda at least gone with blastoise haha

metamorphmagus 0


Could be worse: Weepinbell, Oddish, Gloom, Diglett, Grimer, Snorlax I think you'd aspire to Onix if we're really going to name them after Pokemon

HAHAHAHHAA. you're amazing. XD i laughed so muchhh.

Weedle XD "Weedle used string shot!"

.......................__ ............ ....... ........................| |........... ................... __||/____...... ................|'-|--| .......... .. _...........|--|---|.. ........ ../ L ____,/-------______ .|LOL|-------------O----- ----,.. .. L /______,---''-----------, /... ../ /............._________ ,/.... .//.............____//___ ____/.

Nah, nah, nah, nah this is bullshit, at least she didn't go with magikarp or even worse: MUDKIP!

is that meant to be a helicopter?

ubiquitious 0

It's a roflcopter

edcba54321 0


bexox 0

Yours doesn't squirt? :/

im pretty sure its a boat, it doesn't say rofl, it says lol, so its a lol boat i guess.

#119: Mudkip is a pretty good Pokémon actually.

evlbb2 2

So. I heard you liked Mudkips. XD HisLifeisG

G_tastic 0

#98 what is that supose to be a submarine lol not into pokemon but i think its kinda cute that she wanted to name it haha

frannytrois64 0

Oh, i thought it was a really bad picture of a penis XD

_cheeseballs 0

Hahaha! :)

xxaeroboi189xx 0

I named my balls geodude and then when I was five my wirmple evolved into steelix :)

wingedeggplant 0

You're girlfriend rocks! I now have to name my boyfriend's penis after a pokemon.

What are gf rocks, and why are we calling him that? Or are you calling his penis that? If so, not bad! J/k, I'm aware it was a typo. @OP: Keep her. That's hilarious and adorable and if her sense of humor doesn't make you wanna make love to her like crazy, send 'er my way!

A great response to a terrible typo!

DarknessToLight 5

to make him feel better. blastoise onix steelix raquayza(sp?)

IKR? It's a cute name. Just say that it might be a squirtle now, but it'll evolve after a few battles!

Sorry but you should name your own penis. If that's too hard you should be able to name each of her boobies. Only fair I'd say. Personally I named my own out of boredom and so I wouldn't end up with such a stupid pokemon name

Hich17 0

Named my own, too. Gotta keep out the potential riffraff.

lmmmr 0

I think a guy naming his own penis is a surefire sign of a reverse freudian complex. Women do not need to have penis envy when there are people like you, who practically build shrines to their own members. Seriously though, if I heard that someone named their own penis, I would assume that they are selfish lovers. So, spread that information cautiously.

@111: I don't really see the problem. Well I have two names I would like my penis to be called, but I've not started having sex yet so it doesn't actually matter at the moment I would either like my penis to be called "Spartan" or "Divine Instrument" (my username lol)

hmmm... thats a little gay man... lol

bexox 0

You could rip off your pants and yell "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAN!" and then kick someone into the bed. Just a thought.

septemberlovebug 0

hahaha... that's hilarious

HaveAWaffle 0

aren't you that gay guy

EvilCupcake8361 9

name her boobies jigglypuff! XD

114- AH. AHAHA. AHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA. FAIL. 47929/63819647188472x Fail. Oh god. It's 2 am, and I just busted out laughing, and woke my dad up (from laughing loudly). He came in my room, and asked what was so funny, and I read your comment. He replied, "Well, I hope that kid's gay, cause no women would ever fuck a guy who names his dick so retardedly."


That's cute. No FML here.

Ha ha that's so random, but it's kinda cool, in a way. Appropriate too. At least she has a good sense of humour. I agree with #2

pff, squirtle? Squirtle, meet BLASTOISE

beepmeep 0


Squirtle is better than Slowpoke. Count yourself lucky.

Slowpoke is better than Lightning!

ahah! very true, plexico!