By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 09:45 - United States - Brooklyn
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Well maybe that was a cue to OP to just f*** her already?? After all, it does seem a bit useless to talk about sexual frustration with the person you're sexually involved with (assuming they are sexually active). That's the kind of thing you discuss with your best friend or something, NOT your girlfriend. At least, thats what I think.
Also true. I had not considered the tone, I apologize. As well, there are worse cases where people feed off the love of the significant other. Not giving a fuck about you one day, cherishing you the other. If this is the case, then I believe OP definitely needs to consider his options.
Maybe it's not her fault that they have not been having sex. Its possible OP never tries to be romantic and seduce her. It's also seems possible that he is not even trying because otherwise she would already know how he feels because she turns him down all the time.
149- Am I a girl? Not in the slightest. Was I misguided? Yes. Did I learn from my mistake and assumption? Yes again. No matter what we do here, we end up learning something. Should you have read the comments after mine? Probably. Assuming makes an ass out of you and me, as they say.
I want to input one thing here. #76 your opinion can't be wrong. That's why it's an opinion. Even if you said something like, "Hitler is my 1337 YOLO brother from another mother" that's your opinion. You do not need to apologize for your opinion, either. All in my own humble opinion.
Maybe you should've told her in the first place instead of passive aggressively looking upset to make her feel guilty
Perhaps the Op did not realize they were "Passive aggressively" looking upset. A person can be trying very, very hard not to look upset and it may still be an obvious fact. Don't assume that the OP looking upset was an attempt to guilt trip her on his part, it could have just been that he has poor acting skills.
As a guy, I find it quite easy to suppress my emotions. I used to feel like OP did but respected my girl enough to say nothing or talk to her without pressure and never in the moment. I realize not everyone is like that but it seams clear to me that OP was in fact being passive agressive. If he didn't want her to know he's upset at all he would've said "nothing" or something along those lines when she asked. But he told her right away, so he obviously wanted her to know and thus should've talked to her about it in the first place instead of being passive aggressive.
Next time, just take her. Women tend to like when men take charge. That way your sexual frustration vanishes, you're both happy, and everyone wins. If she doesn't like that, well you're just screwed. Not literally.
No, no, no Doc, not 'just take her'. Just give her an amazing foreplay and then take her. Gosh, guys need to learn the importance of foreplay - not saying that you don't, Doc, but if OP really thinks saying "I'm sexually frustrated" will give him some hot, sweaty sex, I don't think he knows how the female mind works.
That's true, Doc, but that's only possible if the girl has some sexual desire. I don't know if I'm weird, but I sometimes have asexual moments: no sexual desire at all - I can then even watch romantic/hot sex scenes without getting horny. If my boyfriend then has an "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!"-attitude, I'll just give him the stare of death until his penis has crawl back into his body. Maybe it's better for OP if he plays for safe and goes for the fantastic foreplay - his girlfriend probably loves sex more when she once gets all the attention. The "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!" (love this expression!) action can always come on a better time, like when they are not frustrated.
179- Doc meant more along the lines..... Ok example; let's say you're doing dishes, your husband comes in, kissing and hugging against you, he makes a move to pull down your pants and do it right there.... You wouldn't accept? Man! That's the best sex ever! But to each their own....
#179- If you would attempt to assault your husband because he desires to take charge in a sexual situation, then you may have trust issues. I suggest a counseler may be able to help you with that. There's a pretty big ocean between your husband/boyfriend sharing sexual excitement and rape.
I don't think anyone is talking about "forcing themselves" on anyone or disrespecting anyone. We are talking about spontaneity. If you simply reply to and advance with, "hey there, sorry I'm not in the mood right now," then your SO will back off (if he respects you, which obviously your husband does). So why the heck does that call for an assault?
It's not a matter of being kept together by only sex, but I kind of feel sorry for your husband. Does he have to make an appointment before he can touch you? Book it into your schedule so you know exactly when to be prepared for someone 'groping' you? Rape is wrong, but coming on to your partner is not assault or rape (provided of course you respect their boundaries and stop should they ask you to). Are you seriously telling me he has to ask you prior to every time he touches you? That sounds so... unpleasurable. Some of the best moments are your SO coming up behind you and kissing the back of your neck while you're doing the dishes, or sneaking a kiss or touch while you're cuddling on the couch.