Mrs Memphis, tennessee In a relationship
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML
Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
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