Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Mixed signals
Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML
Tact
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Get out of my house
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
**** your "beach body" noise
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Wow thanks, I'm cured
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Top comments
skittlesmeep 4
Tell her sex would burn more calories.
Barr3lR0ll 9
It will, but nowhere near the amount she wants.
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Comments (133)
Sicilysstallion 2
Well in a way she's kinda right
sweetmama88 6
Tell her to go to the gym to lose the weight!
perdix 31
She is right, and it's cheaper than a gym membership. Install a really heavy door and de-grease the hinges so she can get in a resistance workout along with the cardio.
jmcgirl 3
What's wrong with that? At least she's thinking positive ; )
etchsanity1 11
See what u get for dating a heavy blonde tsk tsk
etchsanity1 11
Phone double posts
br0ccoli 15
She should OCD her way iinto the gym.
cheymann 4
Haha your girlfriend is a stupid ****!!!! :-)
janerose21 3
It will work but only if she spends the next 2 years walking in and out of doorways !!
xKites 4
But it will.