Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked how I was feeling, because I’ve been feeling down and experiencing a lot of anxiety lately. I said was feeling a lot better and that I finally think I’m on my way to getting well. She didn't agree, and started a fight about it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
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Top comments
raven_of_azarath 35
You do realize those things you say she didn’t try are also signs of depression, right? Sounds like she needs professional help and you’re an AH.
core01 30
I hope she finds a good mental health provider. You're an ass.
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Comments (10)
raven_of_azarath 35
You do realize those things you say she didn’t try are also signs of depression, right? Sounds like she needs professional help and you’re an AH.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Yes but she still didn't have to lose her shit when the obvious truth got pointed out to her.
core01 30
I hope she finds a good mental health provider. You're an ass.
RichardPencil 32
Your loss.... ...that's actually a win! Now, go find someone else.
Rake 18
those are most likely symptoms, especially if it's something that was recently changed about her behaviour. It can be something mental like depression or something physical there are a few viruses and some food sensitivities that can cause similar lack of energy as you describe. Help her get some medical help instead of mansplaining.
Blueraspberrycat 6
Yo that’s depression and you pointing that out would make her feel worse asshat.
Hangryko 32
Sounds like she's throwing out who's depressing her.
ODBeefalo 10
there is a right way and a wrong way to point things out... you could cook some better meals. bring her out of the house more, insensitivising clothes changing, shower together. If she is depressed you don't throw it at her, you try to find ways to pull her out of it in good ways. be her happiness not another sign she's depressed.
noonereally 6
What even is asexual? In biology class it meant that something could reproduce without sex. I've heard of Aces being *****, so that sounds very sexual to me. Googling clarifies nothing for me.
bazjack 26
Pretty sure this comment hit the wrong fml, but a definition for you: An asexual person is one who doesn't feel sexual attraction. They don't look at people and say, "Wow, they're hot, I want to have sex with them!" They may, however, like to have sex, and may even have lots of sex.
Marjo86 30
you’re a massive asshole. she can’t do those things because she feels like shit, not the other way around. the girl needs help, not a shitty boyfriend.
Evolving_Squid 15
Your life doesn't suck, because she just put it on a better path. Shrug and move on. Better you found out how she really works now than after you got married or had a kid. She may be depressed. She may be a lazy sack who wants a man to look after her. You'll have to judge, but if she flipped out over you bringing it up, I'd lean heavily toward "lazy sack".