Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could...

By great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 763

You deserved it 6 571

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 17:57 - Norway - Haugesund

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 526

You deserved it 9 051

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 675

You deserved it 1 081

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 194

You deserved it 3 708

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 142

You deserved it 44 611

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 807

You deserved it 117 376

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 532

You deserved it 1 600

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 39 009

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 568

You deserved it 49 412

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 824

You deserved it 3 979

Good girl

By StarvedForAffection - 13/01/2021 17:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 264

sugarshane007 20

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:11

Wow!! Sleep on your back buddy!

Mordakai420 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:12

Run bro, run! The strap-ons! The horror!

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:14

Somehow I don't think that was a random comment. Next, she'll be talking about how she's "got your back".

TheGoldStandard 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:27

HAHAHAH OMG HAHAH

TreyDuhh 10

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:53

This made me laugh, uncontrollably I might add.

spikekutter 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 6:14

im not gay..

TehGinga94 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 6:21

Role reversal!! Talk to her about what she said and how you perceived it.

SuperdudeGuy 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 7:04

Pegging time?

crashley21 10

Saturday 26 January 2013 7:26

She may have just been messing with you to see your reaction.

chinagirl3343 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 7:33

Aaaaand it's time for a new girlfriend.

feefifofumxx 13

Saturday 26 January 2013 8:08

Honestly, we say that because it's fun watching you squirm with worry.

stephanyk2 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 8:19

.... gut Lücke

Keywords

Transportation Annoying Music Boredom Awkward Cars Embarrassing Babysitter Kids Relatable Family Thief Money Food Miscellaneous Gross Farts Mental health Depression Health Weird Pregnancy AITA Creepy Star Wars Facebook Social Media Work Wanker Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 662

You deserved it 161

Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 111

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 511

You deserved it 805

Today, I put a collar on my dog to get rid of his fleas. Good news? He doesn't have fleas anymore. Bad news? They've moved onto the rest of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 355

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 992

You deserved it 5 483

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 387

You deserved it 15 689

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 971

You deserved it 5 358

Same thing different taste

Baby Got Back

Flattered

Good girl

Top comments

Comments