Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML
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Top comments
sugarshane007 20
Wow!! Sleep on your back buddy!
Mordakai420 6
Run bro, run! The strap-ons! The horror!
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Comments (90)
darkshaft1 8
Don't let her take your temperature!
krillkel 2
Shouldn't that excite you?
wifeylady 6
Don't knock it till u try it! :)
sweetypieluvsyou 9
It was probably just a joke. At least thats how it would sound to me
Urzaknight 4
Be afraid.....very afraid
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you let her? she must really trust and love you if she said that.
deadshep 2
bend over;)
Starham1 14
You never know. You might like it. I hear stimulating the prostate directly is more pleasurable than the penis itself.
BloodyGlass 10
I hope you have a nice, long talk with her about consent and if she tries anything without your permission, that's assault. :)
gsmalls666 11
So let her