Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML
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Top comments
sugarshane007 20
Wow!! Sleep on your back buddy!
Mordakai420 6
Run bro, run! The strap-ons! The horror!
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Comments (90)
perdix 29
Does she have a Rape Dungeon? That you know of? Dunh, dunh, dunh!!!!
klovemachine 24
Reference to previous FML = awesome :D
katie72 6
Perdix is like the king of fml
bioss89 16
Soon OP's gf will whisper in his ear: Turn over, let me try something new.... And then a GIANT ***** appears :D
S182 15
Giant ***** uses Sodomy!!! It's not very effective...
ydi_4_suking 20
A giant ***** would be very effective.
Roguedork19 8
Saints Row III style lol
Attica 20
"It's super effective!"
spikekutter 9
i wouldnt know..
cgchamp89 7
I think your urgent response to the matter, claiming your "straightness", makes you sound gay. Don't get me wrong though, it's alright to be gay. But let's be honest...
DustyStorm 16
*snicker*
jem970 19
One of the major pleasure zones on a man is in the anal area. Maybe you will like it. But if you are uncomfortable with it let her know. Maybe she was kidding with you though...
SoSickWithIt 14
Is that why it feels good when I pass a major BM? ********, pissing, and coming. My 3 favorite things. I only wish I could enjoy them all at once.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Sounds good in writing. But there's the problem of the poo that's also hibernating in your ass, waiting to exit out of the "exit only" door. Overall, it's disgusting and shouldn't be done unless maybe one prepares ahead of time by not eating and cleaning.
karlcolt45 19
DUN DUN DUN
Synapsky 10
Does she work at Taco bell? She thinks outside the buns... AND STUFFS THEM WITH WHIMSICAL MYSTERY MEAT
_Burnett89 9
Don't drop the soap!
mansen 15
Start playing One Direction to give her the hint?
alphatoomega 21
So he'll have his ears hurt as well as his anus?
SonicRainboom 3
Lucky bastard
birdierising 16
Well...you could always try it. It can definitely be fun!