Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
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Top comments
crudeandrudeguy 29
Just tell her when "big hard" gets his nut "little squishy" will be right back...
Spongegar123 19
You got aroused from her calling your penis "little squishy"? Lol
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Comments (24)
daidax_238 26
You murdered little squishy!
asphaltcowboy65 2
<p>I guess you better find another Dory</p>
Jade Teague 3
<p>Sounds like something I'd do to my boyfriend tbh. He just doesn't understand how fun it is to poke it when it's soft. ???</p>
seriouslynoidea 3
<p>is she twelve ... </p>
rugrats 2
This is what happens when you choose your partner solely by looks.
foolisreal 0
Hahahaha I'm sorry but that's funny dude
foolisreal 0
Hahahaha I'm sorry but that's funny dude
crack229 19
you should break up thats weird af
2changeher 13
Don't get me wrong, it's funny and all. But why did he get aroused at the voice of a kids cartoon character........
wickedgetz 30
did you get aroused because your GF was playing with "little squishy" or because she spoke in a Dory voice?