Animals: Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink...

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 640

You deserved it 1 018

Animals

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Same thing different taste

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 585

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 844

You deserved it 1 518

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 578

You deserved it 4 007

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 1 972

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 290

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 281

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 334

You deserved it 32 279

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 660

You deserved it 9 389

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 980

You deserved it 8 452

By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 039

You deserved it 8 046

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 17 January 2017 12:56

I think the smell was so bad that your dog was trying to run away.

Balphleair 24

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:18

The smell would make him wonder though

Comments

Balphleair 24

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:18

The smell would make him wonder though

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 17 January 2017 12:56

I think the smell was so bad that your dog was trying to run away.

species4872 19

Tuesday 17 January 2017 17:29

<p> Could have been worse, you could have answered the door.</p>

Indianboy9321 25

Tuesday 17 January 2017 19:39

Usual Suspects is an awesome movie!

brutal1 18

Wednesday 18 January 2017 11:55

Fus-Roh-Dah!

dabomsht123 3

Thursday 19 January 2017 3:29

That's ******* awesome

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You deserved it 101

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