Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns... - FML

By daddy-o - 14/03/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 790

You deserved it 20 837

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Same thing different taste

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 627

You deserved it 15 766

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 158

You deserved it 4 352

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 07:19 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 086

You deserved it 3 521

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 885

You deserved it 8 510

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 088

You deserved it 1 283

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 374

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 614

You deserved it 1 561

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 366

You deserved it 1 093

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 783

You deserved it 10 016

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 778

You deserved it 2 189

Next

Top comments

brokenangelexy 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:09

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

tencentsakiss 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:11

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

Comments

funkyprincess301 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 23:32

haha that sucks, did she phrase it in those exact words ??

lea3829 7

Saturday 28 April 2012 15:40

Damn fyl

jm42345 5

Wednesday 6 June 2012 2:17

damn dude have u not heard of pulling out.

Attica 20

Tuesday 16 October 2012 10:34

Yes, because THAT'S the best method of birth control... -shakes head- Condoms = fewer unplanned pregnancies, less gonorrhea.

sugarbear0727 19

Tuesday 28 August 2012 23:47

A baby isnt gonna ruin your life if you're over the age of 18. Sure, it'll put a damper on a lot of shit. But you know what? Shouldn't have had sex dumbass. Or at least protection.

shammer69 0

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:13

That's great! Congratulations!

insomniac8400 13

Wednesday 7 August 2013 16:14

It's just a temporary fix. In less than a year that things gonna be back worse than ever

appforthat 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 16:35

HOW OLD IS SHE?

royalninjas 3

Sunday 13 October 2013 6:36

thats a new way of putting it xD

Ashsmileey 4

Tuesday 31 December 2013 19:36

Is it sad that this took me 6 minutes to understand

thiswhitey 13

Monday 6 January 2014 9:38

lol she didnt know a period was s regular thing? she just have been happy. but you still deserve it for getting her pregnant in the first place

peanut52 8

Sunday 26 January 2014 5:13

Your an idiot, it was just a way of phrasing it.

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Keywords

Relatable Management Annoying Work Weird Cars Transportation Love Sex Abuse Kids Roommate Music Miscellaneous Embarrassing Singing Health Farts Animals Dogs TV shows Cheating AITA Sports Death Family Awkward Money Cute Doctor

The Top

Today, I bought some cheap panties from a local store. They were great, so I ordered two dozen more, from the store’s website. Turns out the size L from the internet is just about the same as the size S from the local store. They told me that I couldn't expect different colors to be the same size. Go figure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 80

Today, I went to my friends-with-benefits's house as planned. My phone was on do not disturb so I missed the message half an hour before I was supposed to be there, asking to come tomorrow. I arrived and he had another chick there. Most awkward encounter, being asked to leave when she was the last minute plan, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 1 241

The Top

Today, after I was told my new apartment in the city I’m moving to for work had off-street parking, the only car that could possibly fit is a Mini if it had first been sawn in half. I parked my perfectly normal Citroen as close to the wall as I could, but my back wheels were still on the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 153

Today, a woman rear-ended my car. She's trying to sue me for 'emotional damage'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 738

You deserved it 1 030

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee, but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 120

You deserved it 9 967

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 494

You deserved it 4 784

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 761

You deserved it 3 215

Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 556

You deserved it 1 902