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She still got tested. I think she would have gone through with it if she was indeed a match, but anyone (including myself) would be dreading the surgery.

It was a nice gesture that she tested to see if she could, but that wasn't really a proper response, even if she was afraid to go through with the procedure. Good luck finding a doner OP!

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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To the people who voted YDI..... How does he deserve it? How can someone deserve needing that procedure? No one deserves that in any way (except those gomers in Washington DC.). Good luck OP. Hope you come out well!

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we don't know how long they've been dating or how serious the relationship is so it's hard to say. I get how we are all supposed to be selfless and kind but most relationships don't work out and every procedure has it's risks. if she felt that way she should have just kept her mouth shut, but I think it's okay for her to feel like that

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I wonder if OP needs a transplant because he got exposed to too much radiation from a job at a nuclear power plant... That'd be a twist

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The relationship seems plenty serious to me. But i dont think ur gf is an insensitive bitch. I mean she went ahead and got tested to see if she could be ur donor. I think that if she was a match, she would have done the transplant, despite how she felt about it. She seems kind of courageous to me.

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I agree with 63 i think she said that because she was scared of the proccedure and was releived she didnt have to do it.

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For those saying she should be glad to: the fact that she went to get tested means that she was willing to be a donor if she could, but just wasn't enthused at the idea. I don't blame her. How many of YOU would not be relieved that you don't have to be a marrow donor, considering the fact that it's EXTREMELY PAINFUL to give or receive bone marrow?

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Best of luck OP. But +1 to 63 and 80. I hear it is extremely painful procedure, so she must have just naturally blurted out the words with no intention of hurting your feelings...

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It's not painful. My sister saved my life last year via a Bone Marrow Transplant & they put her to sleep, did what they had to & then bandaged her up & sent her on her way. The very next day, I was told she was swimming at her friends with no problems!

It was a nice gesture that she tested to see if she could, but that wasn't really a proper response, even if she was afraid to go through with the procedure. Good luck finding a doner OP!

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Exactly my reaction. While obviously her reason for saying that is she was afraid or apprehensive of going through a procedure, she really shouldn't have given you the impression that she didn't want to donate. Good luck finding a donor, OP.

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At least she's still with op despite his health problems, a lot of girls wouldn't do that. I still think she's a nice girl, some people would refuse to get tested

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It probably came out wrong. She was probably just scared about donating BONE MARROW. I'm sure she didn't mean she wants you to not get the procedure done op

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I agree ^ Having that done is terribly painful, and although i hope he finds a donor, most people would be relieved.

She still got tested. I think she would have gone through with it if she was indeed a match, but anyone (including myself) would be dreading the surgery.

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Correct. Bone marrow biopsies (and harvests) hurt like hell. Anyone who has ever broken a bone can definitely attest to the rich nerve supply of our bones. Hehe...nerve supply of the bone... Wait, what was I talking about?

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They knocked me out for my bone marrow biopsy, which is rare, but way less painful. Thankfully enough they found I wouldn't need a transplant and just need to take pills the rest of my life. My thoughts go out to you, OP!

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No, during the actual transplant people can be in the room with you. My whole family was there when I got my bone marrow transplant.

Considering how painful and risky something like that can be, you can't blame her or being relieved she doesn't have to go through that, even though she obviously would have.

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Agreed. But she could have had the decency not to say that in front of him. I mean, OP is sick, and finding a donor is not easy. This is the kind of things he does not need to hear right now. Yes, she would have gone through with it, but it still sounded a bit selfish on her part.

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My question is how is she selfish? Yes, I do think she would have gone through with it if she was a match, but Op is not the only one who is going to have to suffer. Getting that surgery can have side effects, things can go wrong, and she has every right to be worried/relieved.

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I was precisely saying she was not selfish. That slip of tongue made her SOUND a little bit selfish in a sense that it kinda sounds like she's saying "oh thank god you're the only one who's gonna be suffering". I know that's not what she meant, and I commend her on what she was willing to go through for him. I'm just saying if I were OP, I wouldn't have liked it, especially coming from my bf. And it seems like he didn't since he posted an FML about it.

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@94, I don't think it came off to him that she was happy only he had to suffer. It came across as she was relieved, which I bet she was.

It's an extremely painful operation for both parties. She probably would have done it for you but i doubt she was looking forward to it...

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