Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was, "trying to change her." A week ago I asked her to stop talking to the six guys that have all previously asked her for nudes. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after finding out my parents are divorced. Same reason my last three girlfriends broke up with me. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me. In her words, “Liking you fucked up my brain.” Later that afternoon, she posted a story of her with another dude’s arm around her. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
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Top comments
acesarge 0
The only people who still make fun of gays are the ones trying to cover up there own homosexuality.
yes01 0
your ex is brilliant.
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Comments (200)
rosario_hates7 0
wat kind of jokes were they?( for her to say that)
Monikabug 9
YDI for bashing gays. :)
kirakira333 0
gay jokes can be highly enjoyable when said in atleast a semi appropriate way and simply for a laugh and not to degrade gays or mock them. I know many gays who think they are hilarious and enjoy them just as much as I do. it's personal preferance. as they say, "to each his own."
EricaAnnihilate 0
win #60 Also you deserved it OP because you made gay jokes.
jarhead321 0
I'm pretty sure some lesbians do indeed take it in the back door, and calm down tinuelina everybody enjoys a good gay joke (even gays I'm sure)
samantha_durano 6
hahaha, I love your girlfriend.
thedivinecomeD 0
teach her a lesson and sleep with one of them!!! that'll show her... :)
airforce987 20
lol your girlfriend (ex) has a funny sense of humor! she also made my day :) sorry about that though, can't deny it isn't a litlle funny!
epictrollathon 0
Amazingly funny prank pulled by gf. Shame you lost her. Sounds like she had a great sense of humor. And on the bright side, you could always prank the gay guys calling you and have more gay jokes to tell...If you deserve to get this pulled on you, then they deserve to get pranked for soliciting sex on CL. At least that's how I'd rationalize it.
fxdxhk90 0
What is with all the politically correct dumbasses on this site? There was a time when joking about people was ok, today short people are "vertically challenged" and fat people are "horizontally challenged" and stupid people are "intellectually challenged" , and now all jokes are off limits? Society needs to get the collective stick out of it's ass, and anyone that says ydi is a complete moron.
thedivinecomeD 0
LMFAO, "horizontally challenged". your my hero.
arc111111_fml 0
Society work like that : Make a black joke ? You're racist. Make a Gay joke ? You're homophobiac. Make a Joke about fat people ? You dont like fat people. Make a joke about girl ? You don't like girl. Sometimes you don't even need to make a joke, juste said "no" to a black/gay/ people, and they will imedialty reply Racist! /Homophobiac! I just hate people like that... =/
intensitive 11
I would say fat people are "horizontally gifted". This FML isn't about making non-PC jokes in general. It's the fact this dumb ass probably made them over, and over, and over again. ALL jokes get old after a while, and I can assure you this guy is no comedian so he probably isn't as funny as he thinks he is.