Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML