Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
KingCeltic77 18
That's really shitty.
kickuwithmyfist 1
Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D
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Comments (107)
KingCeltic77 18
That's really shitty.
Nanall 15
I think that's a hint of what she wants.
GothicAngel17 24
7- uh, no. That's generally not how it works...
siickman 7
No whats shitty is your intended pun.
YdoIhaveAchode 4
1- I should slap the shit out of you for using that pun.
SwAGkiLlS 5
Haha your a punny guy
kickuwithmyfist 1
Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D
blondebrunette11 4
I think the finger up the ass ruined it.
kickuwithmyfist 1
I would've dropped a deuce right there to teach her a lesson. Lol then look at her and say "ain't I a stinker"
CallMeMcFeelii 13
I had this happen before but I stopped mid-thrust and gave her the weirdest look. She knew..she knew.
ferry12 3
That is really shitty #1
hqbrat 8
Dude you comment came out even worse and pointless
yomama97 5
you mean #2 ? ahhh ahhh? ;D
xleanne_aLly 23
Just teller you don't like it
Rebekkah1993 10
I agree....he should be able to talk to her about what he does and doesn't like ....
GothicAngel17 24
But how would he have known whether he liked it or not beforehand? It doesn't specify whether he told her to stop or anything like that either. He most likely did let her know, at least with his body language.
baddawg365 0
..... I for one would not want a finger shoved up my bum hole...
HighGTurn 12
He could've told her if he liked it or not, it doesn't take a long time to determine it
The_madmax 23
teller..?
Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH 7
You let her? :o
_ebbonyy 11
maybe OP lives by the philosophy that you have to try everything once!
RealReasons 0
I don't think it's supposed to feel good for guys... but did it?
instnt1nfction 17
We're all humans here
GothicAngel17 24
It's meant to apparently but obviously not to all and probably only if they're completely comfortable with the idea. The same goes for girls too. You can't enjoy something that you're not comfortable with.
yankfan89 27
It's supposed to if you hit the right spot, specifically the prostate.
VenomSiphon 13
Prostate stimulation feels good for everyone. The problem is getting past the mental barrier. And the asshole barrier. gooch rubbing ftw
boating_guy 33
Women...don't have prostates. Sorry to burst your bubble
guckylynn 19
Actually 62, you're wrong. http://app.renalandurologynews.com/mobile/pages/apparticle.aspx?pagetypeid=128&articleid=57869
xxdark 3
#13, I was hoping you'd see this. Best opportunity to show your appropriate display picture!! Love DBZ Abridged! Also, there is nothing wrong with this. And she's right; as long as he is comfortable with the idea and mentally breaks the awkward social barrier, it is quite pleasurable for guys. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!
charvisioku 22
How on earth do you think gay sex works then, idiot? Some people...
jaystreet46 4
#57 learn your anatomy! Women don't have prostates.
XxNightwingxX 21
Actually, it should feel good for a lot of guys. She probably wasn't hitting the right spot. Stimulating the prostate is supposed to be quite pleasurable. Of course, everyone is different, so maybe OP is the type who doesn't like this type of stimulation.
ShabbaHD 2
No, I've tried it voluntarily and felt weird either way.
GothicAngel17 24
Oh god, I couldn't stop laughing! *gigglesnort*
GothicAngel17 24
*awaits the flood of down votes*
alliewillie 22
I'm confused as to why you wrote a wholly unnecessary comment... Only to write a SECOND unnecessary comment about the down votes you're anticipating on the first comment... Does that sound stupid to you?
esu 5
Well now you know for next time
RuskiManBearPig 4
Looks like the shit's gonna hit the fan...
Queen_Cosmos 7
You should of gave her a poop-job :P
GothicAngel17 24
Dafuq did I just read?
Queen_Cosmos 7
Sorry I just woke up, I should probably stop commenting...