Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML
Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
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Top comments
VannahJane 17
And that is when you decide to get a refill on popcorn and never come back
James64138 26
Oh, so that's something you're not supposed to do on a first date? That explains everything...
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Comments (139)
Artsygirl90 14
Here you thought he was so dreamy and he thought you were just a tissue.
noraaa35 4
Lmaooooo that's funny
Baybiiie 11
#14 Made my day :) lmao
Carmstro 13
Ugh, anyone else notice that her definition of perfect was tall, muscular and handsome? Not that we have a whole lot of good things to say about his personality so far...
klutz44 28
Probably just a first impression of him before the date started.
Coop817 19
If that isn't a turn on, I don't know what is
GTAmax99 12
You sure don't.
evig_fml 16
Damn he really does have it all, height, muscle mass, good-looks, and lets not forget he is one classy gent.
HowieDoIt 21
S'not too big of a deal, if anyone nose what I mean
Pleonasm 36
Damn you, if only I had gotten onto this FML sooner I wouldn't have been beaten!
Pleonasm 36
That's snot cool of him, OP. He picked a bad time to try and pull one over on you!
HowieDoIt 21
So close Pleo, but looks like I caught you with your booger-stained pants down!
Pleonasm 36
So that was you the mysterious stranger in the bathroom stall after the screening of "Django Unchained?"
HowieDoIt 21
Both django and your pants were "unchained" ;)
Pleonasm 36
Djongo changing the subject! (intentional misspelling for shameless, yet still farfetched pun. How do you like me now, bitches?!)
Smeelover27 15
I wonder if anything can float on mucus. I would bet it would have to be very phlegm-buoyant. Sadly, no one nose the answer to this question.
dan_in_wi 12
at least it wasn't his ass! haha ;) fyl
Cupcake040 17
everyone has points that aren't 'amazing' if you can get by it you'll probably be good together and honestly your friend probably didn't know since he thought he was hiding it most likely.
Dinderdon 20
I'm sorry but if someone used my leg as a snot rag on a first date it'd be game over no matter how 'perfect' they were
Ameel_fml 19
I don't know....Using your leg as a snot rag is pretty gross....but if he really IS "perfect" in every other way, I suppose it's worth giving him another try. Maybe ask him not to wipe his nose on your leg next time though. He probably knows it's wrong and thought he was being subtle or something.
kobelstone23 13
I've heard that girls will leave you something of there's so you'll have to remember them when their gone. I think that's the guy way of doing it...
cooterpie 11
If you two get hitched, first wedding anniversary gifts are paper. I suggest tissues.
EffingBollocks 11
Were you watching Holes?