Miscellaneous: Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare...

By blemarooney - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

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blemarooney tells us more :

Hi OP here. Thanks for all the supportive comments. I got my mum to go in and complain to my school but they kept insisting that 'rules are rules.' So maybe bless you secretly means the answer is C but I will certainly never bless anybody when they sneeze in the middle of an exam again.

Miscellaneous

And today, on Dr Phil…

Sorry…

True hero

By jennybrev - United States

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2021 21:30

Skyped out

Today, I had one minute to go before a team meeting from my work, a blackout occurred in my block. The outage lasted an hour. The meeting was about 40 minutes long. FML

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By Werner - United States

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

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By CallaC - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Downey

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

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By torny>horny - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

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By Malíya - United States - Perth Amboy

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

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By Joey - United States - Apo

Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML

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By the dead never die

Today, after over a dozen separate blood tests, my doctor told me conclusively that my results are perfectly normal for a middle-aged woman in the early stages of pregnancy. Problem is, I’m a 24-year-old guy, so my doctor is very concerned. FML

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By Kutakito - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

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By Baskets-Tailleur - France

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

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By Anonymous

Deez nutz hurtz

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/8/2020 14:01

Free money for me, but not for thee

Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML

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By failhusband - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

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By kaz89 - United States

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/11/2020 22:58

Egg mode

Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML

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By :( - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

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By lauz - Australia

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

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By Ugh

Today, I had my last assessment for my university degree in the form of an interview at 11am. Without doing this interview, I can't graduate. The interviewer was a no show. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

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By perfectmoment - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

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By Carmen VanDiest

Legit logic

Today, I asked my husband why his socks are always inside-out in the laundry basket. He replied, "So the insides get clean." FML

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By alexbobalex - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

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By thewrittenrebel - South Africa - Bellville

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

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By milkshake - United States - Pasadena

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

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By HouseWife - United States - Valley Park

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

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By sideGirl - 26/9/2020 10:01 - United States - Lancaster

Side piece

Today, I found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend when she walked into his bedroom while we were having sex. I didn't drive there, so I'm now sitting in his car while they fight. It's been two hours since she got home. FML

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By LuxTheSarcastic - United States - Apex

Today, my mother dragged me to the mall to get me out of the house and to get me to stop using my phone. She then spent the whole trip talking on her phone instead of actually interacting with me. FML

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By whippingpost

Drunken lout

Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

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By miley098 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

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By Anonymous - Saudi Arabia - Jiddah

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

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By wtf - United Kingdom

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Regina

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

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By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

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By dammitvasquez - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

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Top comments

By Welshite | 39

#6279713 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:52

Next time your prof sneezes condemn him to Hell.

"May your soul belong to Satan, you unholy demon-spawn. "

By _kyleG_ | 34

#6279730 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:01

Everyone knows that bless you means the answer is C!

COMMENTS

By Welshite | 39

#6279713 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:52

Next time your prof sneezes condemn him to Hell.

"May your soul belong to Satan, you unholy demon-spawn. "

JMichael | 25

#6279739 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:09

Not sure why this if downvoted. I found it funny.

Whyismydogcrazy | 5

#6279801 - Saturday 2 May 2015 20:02

So did I. I kind of hope the OP does it, without getting in trouble!

Evil_Jester | 17

#6279814 - Saturday 2 May 2015 20:19

I hear you.

TiddlesWiddles | 15

#6279823 - Saturday 2 May 2015 20:33

Reminds me of the FML post saying that the teacher thought two people were cheating from them having colds- the teacher thought their sneezes was a form of communication.

1dvos_grl3 | 21

#6279856 - Saturday 2 May 2015 22:02

#10 All the religious freaks out there were probably "offended"

RedPillSucks | 31

#6279906 - Saturday 2 May 2015 23:44

you can be religious and find it funny.
I know I did.

Ritokage | 3

#6280061 - Sunday 3 May 2015 2:15

#47
Thus the wording "religious freaks" with focus on the freak. For example the people in the Westboro Baptist Church maybe

lexa1love | 16

#6280122 - Sunday 3 May 2015 4:33

Ehh idk, the westboro baptist church seems to condemn just about everybody to hell. I'm religious and found his comment funny, but I wouldn't consider myself a freak either.

HeroofWinds1 | 13

#6280418 - Sunday 3 May 2015 13:05

I remember that to. It was sniffles though

dancinwookie | 21

#6285662 - Saturday 9 May 2015 0:43

I've done that. It didn't go over well. Lol!

By unknownuser2899 | 9

#6279715 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:53

thats sucks im sorry

By ImAFaker | 29

#6279719 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:54

That's just sick

fireballftw1123 | 5

#6280142 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:22

b-dmm tss

By TheTedster | 15

#6279721 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:54

So apparently being a nice person is considered cheating these days...

TheBelt | 19

#6279754 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:22

Apparently according to #17 the answer was C

thejonac | 21

#6279772 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:34

your profile pic is so suitable for your comment

TheBelt | 19

#6279773 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:36

* #7

redstone7693 | 29

#6279867 - Saturday 2 May 2015 22:27

I read an FML recently where these two kids were both given zeros on a test because they were both sniffling and the teacher thought they were "speaking in code" hahaha ridiculous.

By alexlots | 20

#6279722 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:54

Wow didn't know being polite counted as cheating

By Kailayla | 29

#6279723 - Saturday 2 May 2015 18:55

Wow, that's a ridiculous reason to fail you. Can't you put in a complaint or something?

By _kyleG_ | 34

#6279730 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:01

Everyone knows that bless you means the answer is C!

howard007 | 18

#6279882 - Saturday 2 May 2015 23:06

Actually is means the answer is b

fireballftw1123 | 5

#6280143 - Sunday 3 May 2015 5:23

I thought it meant Istanbul

By ApplePie1994 | 27

#6279731 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:03

Well, remember the mix up a few years ago where they handed out the second paper for higher level English by a mistake? This would not be the first derp caused by examiners in this country.

fakedsincerity | 32

#6280727 - Sunday 3 May 2015 21:22

By hippodankamus | 22

#6279738 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:09

Just goes to show how fucked up our education system is.

CODplayer4lyfe | 24

#6279762 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:26

I agree, but OP kinda sorta lives in Ireland

hippodankamus | 22

#6279774 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:37

I should really start looking at the locations.

By Hiimhaileypotter | 52

#6279740 - Saturday 2 May 2015 19:09

I always say bless you when someone sneezes even during exams... If this happened to me I'd be so pissed. You should see if there's anything you can do to change that. Sorry OP!