Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
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Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML
Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML
Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Speaking from experience, he'll be sorry for assuming a baby will be like a pet. I was very disappointed when my baby daughter was unwilling to use a litter box.
misspulkadot24 17
Give him one of those realistic dolls that shit, cry, scream, and pee. He'll change his mind.
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Comments (90)
cartedor 18
He is in for a shocker. He is also very childish, he is not though to be able to step up the plate and take,responsibility for the baby
candacekmp 14
Wow does he need a reality check lol
Jessj958 19
You guys can borrow one or both of mine! Lol that should knock a little sense into him.
Frustrated78 11
OMFG NOOOOO! Give me his number. I'll tell him. Not only are they NOTHING like that, they grow up and start walking and talking and then they really suck!
kalbrek009 20
Please don't go getting pregnant just for his sake (& stupidity/ignorance on his part)..take him to several day care centers where the kids are especially rowdy & he should change his mind...don't let him make you feel as though you have to give him a new "pet". Just out of curiosity...is he an only child &/or did he grow up on an island where there were no other kids?
mark1970 10
Boy is he in for A nasty surprise. I have four of
Bludmagnus 13
What... a... total... idiot!!!
doglover100 28
He's in for a wake up call.
Izarra_fml 14
don't we all wish babies were like that?!?!