Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
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Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML
Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML
Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Speaking from experience, he'll be sorry for assuming a baby will be like a pet. I was very disappointed when my baby daughter was unwilling to use a litter box.
misspulkadot24 17
Give him one of those realistic dolls that shit, cry, scream, and pee. He'll change his mind.
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Comments (90)
zingline89 18
Speaking from experience, he'll be sorry for assuming a baby will be like a pet. I was very disappointed when my baby daughter was unwilling to use a litter box.
tj5810 21
I could've used a litter box just now, seeming how I nearly pissed myself after reading your comment.
isabellegypsy 12
If you do have a baby, he's in for a BIG wake up call!
baconstrips 12
Well, your fiancés a dumbass
_streets_ 19
Boy is he in for a surprise!
insaneDONUTZ 15
babies are super cute until they cry and poop and puke on you
GrinchFu1 27
If he loves his dog that much, he'll adore a new baby. The way a man treats his dog is a good indicator of how he'll treat his children.
notyourstarxx 2
Not necessarily. My boyfriend loves my dog to death and would do anything for him. Basically he's our dog now, not just mine. He's like our child...but my boyfriend can't stand kids, and neither of us ever want to have them. I've never really liked kids, and never had a maternal instinct towards them..not even babies. But I do with animals.
GrinchFu1 27
If you ever have a child you might find that maternal instinct. I never cared for children much myself until I had them. I can't imagine my life without them now. They're truly incredible little people. The way a man treats his dog is not always an indicator of the type of father he'll be, but from my experience it's usually the case.
Jessj958 19
Totally agree with u #71. I felt the same way before I had my boys. I was always the one who said I'd never had kids, just didn't fit into my life. But when it happens, you totally change and things you never thought you'd be able to do, you can do! I had never even changed a diaper before my 1st was born. I do wanna pull my hair out at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world.
buckdharma 37
Well let's see, a dog eats by himself, goes outside to use the bathroom and sleeps all night unless there's a noise. then he protects you from the bad guy. everything checks out so yeah, he's right.
Wederoney 16
I'll be looking forward to your husband's fml in roughly nine months.
tj5810 21
I can only imagine what shocking experiences lie ahead.
zessica101 5
What's wrong with an baby?
screenager5 35
What's wrong with your grammar?
qirde_15 5
NO! Babies are bad (throws away stuffs), loud (scowls and shrieks) and awake on precious times IT should have been asleep. That's a fact.
screenager5 35
Um... what?