Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
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Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML
Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML
Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Speaking from experience, he'll be sorry for assuming a baby will be like a pet. I was very disappointed when my baby daughter was unwilling to use a litter box.
misspulkadot24 17
Give him one of those realistic dolls that shit, cry, scream, and pee. He'll change his mind.
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Comments (90)
perdix 29
Ask him if he feels the same after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars sending the dog to college. That's one difference between dogs and babies that slaps dumbasses upside the head.
capslockisgood 19
Hundreds of thousands? Are you sending them to college on the International Space Station?
insaneygolover 9
When someone has a baby offer to look after it for a few hours. He will change his mind.
insaneygolover 9
No. More like attention seeking little demons.
SharnaaaBanana 22
You never know!
rvnclwprfct731 13
When we had my daughter we expected the worst. But she turned out to be easy. Always ate well, fell asleep fast and never cried for no reason. my brother was outraged when his came along and acted like a regular baby. We just got lucky. It all depends on the baby.
fentron 3
Maybe he just has the magic touch
Shmatterhorn 38
He's going to get the ultimate wake-up call when the baby wants attention at 3 a.m. Good luck, OP.
imsh0rts0watt 9
Well he's definitely in for a rude awakening!
Reaper1984 13
hahaha lmfao, some people are so sheltered
john_gemini91 6
Wish babies came that way though..