Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
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Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mhc91 10
Then be a nice person and buy her more
Catkam623 27
For gods sake man not the cheesesticks. How could you think about your plans when such a tragedy has occurred.
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Comments (149)
HeyTherexxx 21
You booked it to the store, right? Dear God, please tell me you booked it to the store.
atharfianra 2
Not sure why this ruined your evening. So she's upset and hormonal...comfort her and buy more cheesesticks...she married you for a reason, live up to that!
blackonblight 32
But did you get her the cheese sticks or not?
cookie1207 19
Go get her some!!! How about aome kindness to the pregnat lady! Stop wasting your time on FML and be useful!!
xReDMemory 28
Stop assuming he didn't.
mommabee26 10
Be a good husband and get her cheese sticks. Try to make her enjoy every moment of her pregnancy. It's a beautiful thing but can be tough too.
junebug1981 3
Oh you poor baby. Your wife somehow got YOU pregnant? Good luck with that... .. wait.. no? Your pregnant wife cried and that makes you grumpy? I see. :-/
touch_phobia 13
Thank you
Goblin182 26
Ah yes, the prego hormonal rollercoaster. I remember those days well. Good luck my friend.
mannatee 19
Pregnant women always have weird cravings or act funny, you'll make it through, just be prepared to be woken up extremely early
band_geek 18
We women have these things called "hormones" that go out of wack when pregnant. At least try and suck it up and be nice by attending to whatever may be needed around the house instead of saying your evening's pretty much ruined.
graphicstyle7 17
Wow, "my evening was shot to hell". Er, it's not YOUR evening if you are married, it's OUR evening. And guess what? You'd better get out of that "my" thinking Right. Now. Or get used to being alone. Be a supportive spouse instead of a selfish ass or some other, better guy will end up raising the kid.
touch_phobia 13
Agreed!!! She just asked for cheese sticks! If it's your baby then you had better start helping out rather than bitching about your wife's complaints! she's going through much worse things than cheese sticks, she should be on this website