Miscellaneous: Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 22:08 - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 414

You deserved it 9 061

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Same thing different taste

By stupidbullcrêpe - 20/08/2012 22:06 - Brazil - Santos

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 131

You deserved it 6 278

Hello from the other side

By losthusband - 11/10/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 11/12/2014 21:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 327

You deserved it 5 285

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 281

You deserved it 6 412

Oooh nooooooo

By eternal - 24/06/2019 18:00

Today, while at the drive-thru at Sonic, they told me they were out of mozzarella sticks. I shed actual tears. I’m not even pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 1 230

The bed is lava

By for better or for farts - 06/08/2020 23:01

Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 393

You deserved it 198

You BASTARD!

By moosemay - 02/04/2013 15:04 - Germany

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 730

You deserved it 4 400

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 651

You deserved it 36 356

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 74

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 937

You deserved it 8 306

Next

Top comments

mhc91 10

Saturday 1 February 2014 5:35

Then be a nice person and buy her more

Catkam623 27

Saturday 1 February 2014 5:35

For gods sake man not the cheesesticks. How could you think about your plans when such a tragedy has occurred.

Comments

IXChaosDragonXI 13

Monday 3 February 2014 14:58

You deserve it for running out of cheese sticks. Those things are delicious.

hellsqueen 7

Monday 3 February 2014 20:47

I have a feeling that would be how I would be lol

legs666 10

Tuesday 4 February 2014 0:04

GO GET YOUR WOMAN SOME CHEESE STICKS!!

catanita 18

Tuesday 4 February 2014 7:40

I think you over reacted. Go get her what she wants and try be more supportive. She has to get the extra weight and all the rest related to a pregnancy.

BrinaGreis 3

Wednesday 5 February 2014 14:20

you better hit the store. stat.

miiss_rawrs 2

Monday 10 February 2014 7:47

it's sad when your pregnant and run out of cheese sticks, I've sobbed on the floor when I was pregnant because we were out of pizza with pickles chicken pineapple and chocolate

sidious_fml 16

Sunday 16 February 2014 16:42

I'm hoping you got her cheese sticks.

shorty11272 2

Monday 3 March 2014 3:22

Tell her to go get them herself

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 26 July 2014 8:11

Always keep those on hand...maybe two boxes at all times...or whatever they come in

CaroAurelia 12

Saturday 25 October 2014 21:46

Dude, I'm not even pregnant, and depending on my mood I might cry if I found out I was out of cheese sticks. Those things are ******* good.

Ahsome 6

Wednesday 5 November 2014 2:28

It's obviously your fault

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The Top

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 96

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 247

Today, after years of going through hell to get my tonsils removed as an adult, I found out that they were my first line of defense against allergies. I used to have a very light reaction. Now my doc is making personal calls to get me to an allergist immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 668

You deserved it 595

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 666

You deserved it 2 782

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 274

You deserved it 18 997

Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 373

Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 150