Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mhc91 10
Then be a nice person and buy her more
Catkam623 27
For gods sake man not the cheesesticks. How could you think about your plans when such a tragedy has occurred.
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Comments (149)
sdroze1389 31
proof that having children is always a bad decision
SarMarJo 17
Please wrap it before you tap it, #11.
sdroze1389 31
Lol don't worry, hate kids. I just never had a comment buried yet so I posted one I knew would. I was the first down vote lol
kyuubi1 14
just lie down and cry with her because that's like the saddest moment when you run out of cheese sticks
Vnzou22 9
Cheesesticks are vital.
seprunner 12
That's when you slowly back out of the room, run away, and hope she didn't see you
Godsofdracos 15
It's his pregnant wife... What type of monster are you?
applebramble 22
Clearly you'd be the irresponsible type of husband/father and would be divorced not long after the baby is born unless you develop some sense in yourself #15
honeymoonroyale 20
Think he was being sarcastic, guys... At least I hope so...
seprunner 12
Yes, Thankyou! lol I'm not a monster, I promise!
Ghost308 11
Not cheese sticks man!!!! Step 1. Lay down next to her Step 2. Grab her hand Step 3. Cry with her
AFCCT 7
I need my cheese!
duuuh1 11
Poor thing, I was lucky not to have such serious mood swings but that can't be fun. Go buy her some cheese sticks, and probably chocolate.
JMichael 26
Grab your bible and hold it close cuz it'll be like Satan is living your house.
perdix 31
You're in Minnesota, man! That's next to Wisconsin where you can get the best cheese! Be a hero and make a cheese run. She might even let you name the kid Brie, Camembert, Limberger, or Jack.
sdroze1389 31
limberger is a strong name, with an unusual name like that the kid is bound to be a pro athlete
perdix 31
#28, if he can get through all of the attempted playground beatings, he'll either be a great fighter or a runner!
sdroze1389 31
reminds me of a guy in the nfl, can't recall who he plays for at the moment but his first name is jaquizz.
PattonGilette2 18
appa