Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
Today, as I was picking up my 7 year-old daughter at my ex-husband's house, my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with Daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently, the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "Mommy." FML
Today, after spending time with my daughter and painting her nails she gives me a hug and says, "Mommy I love you, but I love daddy much better!" FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mufasaniqqa 13
aw **** man, sorry about that.
MondRubberduck 24
That´s no problem. You know. Kids are easy to bribe.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
themaxx333 6
Sit down with your wife and ask her what's going on?
DaMann360 19
Or just shmack a hoe... Not really, I agree with #11 but the urge was too great.
wanted_2_want 40
Riiiight #11! As if she'll tell the truth if she's confronted... Better if OP hires a PI or start keeping tabs on her.
Amanyyyyyy 29
75- That's not creepy at all!
doggiewoggie 13
Time to call cheaters, lol. But in all seriousness OP, you should really talk to her about that.
davincidasecond 24
It's bad enough that she's most likely cheating, but whoever she's cheating on you with she's introducing the daughter to him as well? If that's the case, leave that sorry excuse for a wife and don't look back. No one is worth that bullshit.
Ihavegas 22
so much yes on the above
JustKittyKat 24
Not to mention the fact that they allow her to call the other man daddy as well.
ItsMissLia 19
That's horrible.. Your wife seems to be handling it really immature by shushing your child instead of owning up to what she did. Sit your wife down OP and talk.
nyancait 18
Uh oh. Sounds like it might be time to invest in some sweets for bribery purposes. Awful for you though. Sorry OP :(
Spicemelon 5
Your wife is a great example to her kids...be the better man. Talk it out.
CandyPewPewPew 29
How old is your daughter? Have you ever considered that she might be pranking you? Nowadays internet are teaching people on how to prank their parents.
Mole_Man 10
Oh yeah great prank. I hear that's one for the new Jackass generation
MrConcise 35
I dunno, our "pranks" are getting pretty twisted in recent years. What about the one that involves texting a significant other's phone with a single vague message that implies cheating and/or breaking up, then watching them unravel when you don't text back for hours on end? I'm not saying I think the little girl is pranking the dad, but it wouldn't be the most far-fetched outcome.
ireadsometimes 13
Yeah you should talk to your 'wife' about that. Be the bigger person and don't let her have any power over you for what she did or did not do, good luck.
Enslaved 38
Why does she prefer him over you?
fullalove 23
I'm pretty sure you missed the point of this FML.
RedPillSucks 33
Because he makes mommy say "Yes!, Yes!!!"
91hayek 31
It's the worst when children's innocence is capitalized on to keep a deplorable vile secret. "Here's your new daddy!", "This is you 'uncle' Joe", "Say hi to your Aunt kids!" They aren't blood or kin, keep that filth to yourself and leave the kids out of it.