Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
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Top comments
macystar 14
I think it's a little more weird that your parents are discussing your jacking off skills.
fylsinceydi 2
How do you jack off weird?
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Comments (131)
Fiori4 20
Maybe HE'S the one who jack's off weird.
Fiori4 20
*jacks*
lonelyguy1995 5
Glad you corrected that. Because it was really disturbing.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
Your father is acting like he's never jacked off before.
Kibaruto 33
Everyone is correcting spelling errors, so I decided to point out your name. You know, if it doesn't all fit, don't bother with it.
RoboCunnilingus 23
"If it doesn't all fit, don't bother with it." That's shit advice. Unless op jerked it without a full grip... We're really discussing another man's beating method.
NandaPanda 22
92- I do believe 80 was referring to 15's username when she said that.
Dthsapprntc 23
Since jacking off is something you kinda figure out on your own, everyone will do it differently. Who gives a shit what someone else thinks about your jerking technique as long as you are enjoying it. Or if OP wants to not be weird he can have his dad teach him the proper way. Because that would definately not be weird......
Dark_Stream 29
With **** of all description so easily available, he may not have learned on his own. He might be copying something really bizarre he saw on the net.
evan_7899 28
Maybe the first time he saw some chimps whackin off and OP has been goin chimp style since
EvilLittleMan 23
Step it up a notch and move to the multi-knuckle shuffle.
beaverteaser 16
well it could have been worse, you could have been caught by your dad jacking ........ oh nm that does suck
MattAttack12 10
Well... Do you?
Ghost308 11
After something like that you should never bring your girlfriend over to meet your dad!
BioChickthcfy 6
did you have an optimus prime helmet on screaming "Autobots roll out" as you hit climax?
ViktoriaaKills 13
that was a terrible image to put in my head.
LanaRenee13 6
rofl. that is awesome.
BioChickthcfy 6
I try lmao
hueybuntfosho 4
I have not laughed that hard in a long time
worldclassrager 39
I would like to know the correct way...it's possible I do it weird too...but still....your dad is right lock the door...
iknowiwantyou 13
this isn't a sex help site, it's an FML site.
Rainhawk94 27
Wanna know the right way? Get a shake weight
kcjc777 8
Wait a second #44 You're telling me this isn't a cooking site? Damn I've been looking for a cheesecake recipe for hours. Thanks for letting me know this is an FML site. If you hadn't told me I'd have spent the rest of my life here...
iknowiwantyou 13
96, I wouldn't be surprised if you actually weren't being sarcastic.
The_Big_Boss 20
I now must know OP's technique. Maybe it is really good..