Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 045
You deserved it 35 392

Same thing different taste

Top comments

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..

Comments

kaplan_reject 5

Spider bite...... Spider bite... Oooooh itchy spider bite!

It would be funny if OP walked in on his parents and his dad says "ummm your mum also had an itch"

TKmax 5

Good contribution. And what makes this a classic unless this is a regular occurrence for you.

TKmax 5

Good contribution. And what makes this a classic unless this is a regular occurrence for you.

Marcella1016 31

29 - That means number 1 got moderated. I've noticed everyone seems to be assuming it was a guy. The "explanation" would've made more sense - and the entire situation been way more awkward (and interesting) - if OP was female O_o

Llama_Face89 33

31- I was actually thinking the same thing.

alliewillie 22

Yep and you had to fap it. Uh, I mean scratch it.

sarahxD1234 5

29- you must be new . (picture)

blackheart24 10
Miq94 0

Same thing happened to me! Hahaha

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Think that's bad I was masturbating and playing pokemon (not at the same time and no I wasn't jerking off to Pokemon) and my dad walked in luckily he didnt see ._.

killersexy 1

"I was justing cleaning it and it went off"

um...I was just massaging it because some idiot kicked it......wanna help??? ;P?

A really really bad itch.... So I casually decided to scratch it.... With lotion and ****....

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..

Brice28_fml 10

There's a skeeter on my Peter whack it off!

I like to itch my balls while looking at naked (wo)men. Is there a problem, father?

My brother once walked in on me and the first thing I yelled out was "**** You" hahaha I don't even know why I said it lol just a reaction.

youcunthole 0

U should have told him u were checking for ticks

Isn't it the worst when your parents walk in.

Nah, it could be worse. Like when your grandparents walk in.

5 - looks like you're used to that now, considering you must still be living at home.

It could be worse, like your parents and grandparents walking in! O.o

I'll admit it, I deserved the backlash even through I was only kidding around lol

Better than killing grandma with your money shot.

#5's response could also be a legitimate reference to the original American Pie. "It's like warm apple pie." *challenge accepted******* pie* (Dad walks in) Challenge failed. (miserably)

robc32ca 4

He knows what you're doing and has done it himself...a lot!!!

skata 4

yeah mausterbating was big in the seventies...

Hay!! Don't diss Jersey!!! (BTW do not refer to JerseyShore that show is a ton of stereotypes!)

xosportsgirl14x 8

Is that why you spelled hey a hay and used the word diss?

dyble95 0

Ya because all doors have locks on them... -__-

poorjudgement 26
flooger101 6

Just some hardcore scratching for an annoying itch!

Dad: Oh yea I have the same exact itch. Look!

Thats weird, i seem to have the same itch