Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
macystar 14
I think it's a little more weird that your parents are discussing your jacking off skills.
fylsinceydi 2
How do you jack off weird?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
smokey1408 1
this is kinda unnecessary
edwin1 5
Your dad is nasty why would he talk about it ha
DevilsAltair 8
Sneak up on him and find out how to do it
myroxy240 7
Ummmmmm... Am I the only one who thinks his dad is gay and pays too close attention TO HIS SON jacking off?!?
Deathghat 5
It's funny cuz the guys username is Jack
handoverfist7 1
Would serve him right if you move far, far away to have his grandkids grow up and never know him. Be the parent he should have been.
leaannec30 18
although locking your door for privacy is always a good idea. i do not blame this child. everyone no matter how old should always knock on the door before entering someone elses private space. i blame the father for this as this was completely disrespectful.. for my children i began knocking on their door when they turned around 8 yrs old for the purpose of teaching them the same respect for others. however, seeing your father doesnt obviously know this common respect i do recommend you lock your door. so sorry OP.
Glasstronaut 4
Why didn't you lock the door the first time?
Bubbilility 27
Has he seen enough men jacking off to know there's a normal way?