Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
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Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
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Top comments
macystar 14
I think it's a little more weird that your parents are discussing your jacking off skills.
fylsinceydi 2
How do you jack off weird?
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Comments (131)
an3ph 20
Ho-kay, now I'm curious. Descriptive follow-up please!
pdp_fml 21
I am just wondering why you didn't lock your door? YDI, sorry. Next time lock your door.
vikky538 28
you clearly lack covering up skills...
rogerover 19
What a DICK! Your Dad
NeatNit 32
YDI for not locking
edanielleh 21
YDI, you really should lock the door
InfiniIII 6
My parents would always get suspicious if I locked my door, especially if I take a long time to unlock it...
squarecircles 13
Good way to sharpen up your dice rollin' skills
zyprexa_fml 10
YDI for not locking the door. Masturbation is a private subject, and you don't want too many people to find out if you do it, especially not your parents. Anyway, I'm sure that your dad will forget about it soon enough, and from what he said about your weird...um...technique it sounds like he has or does **********, himself.
middlesister04 5
Eww at your dad weirdo ass.