By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 022
You deserved it 3 663

Same thing different taste

Top comments

There's no mercy. He's gotta take advantage of you, y'know?


There's no mercy. He's gotta take advantage of you, y'know?

This is why I barricade myself in my house on Black Friday and watch movies all day. I would rather not mess with all the rabid animals fighting for the best deal. I'll pay the extra money if it means I get to keep my life.

I'm with Welshite on this one. The pain, dismemberment and possible death just isn't worth it. On the otherhand, the news should be interesting, if a bit depressing.

Welshite, when you say rabid animals, do you mean Sheeple?

No. Sheeple suggests a placid herd meandering through the store. I'm talking rabid tear-your-limbs-off crazy. The one time I actually participated in a Black Friday rampage I witnessed a six year old girl tackle a 300 pound man and eat his still beating heart. Never again.

What is this black friday you speak of, sounds terrifying.

#27, 'tis the most awful, horrible and terrifying shopping experience known to man. It should not be spoken of too loudly or often or it might show up at more times and places than the day after Thanksgiving in th US. Beware. It is evil. You have been warned.

HJKM_fml 19

@8 This is why I only participate in cyber Monday. No worries there.

More like 50% they will beat the shit out of them but the martial arts will be futile against that mob

Interestingly enough, a worker was trampled to death in 2008 when he opened Walmart doors on Black Friday. He fell over but people just kept walking over him... Well known story and definitely not the norm, but make sure you accompany your dad so you can go ninja on any stampeding people!

I worked at Walmart this "black thursday". I am still standing. Not a bruise or cut or chunk taken out of me. I'm like Bruce Willis in unbreakable! I could sense what people hated me when I rubbed up against them.

I wouldnt dare to be your enemy on BF.

Its going to be like the movies, with a single person fighting one on one with a huge group. remember to make sound effects OP

It can come in handy, I remember a lady got tazed for an Xbox a few years back.

I remember on the news some Walmart employees got trampled to death by barbarically desperate customers.

I remember one year someone got stabbed to death over an Xbox 360. Or a it may have been PS3. One of the two.

Holy shit! Knowing this, I see no Black Friday shopping in my future.

This is your test my son. The moment you've been working for!

Sorry about the dislike I missed the button

olpally 32

Might as well use it on Black Friday. It'll be a black and blue Friday for the other customers if they come across you and your dad. Good luck. Haha

lissa_jade 22

your dad might be on to something.. do you only escort family members around on Black Friday ??