Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Gosh. Dang it, OP. What the heck were you thinking? You must have sounded like an effin ice hole. Son of a mother trucker.
jondillboy 17
Interesting reason for being grounded.
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Comments (64)
jimmywithsalt 19
Cuss him out in a manner he'll approve of then
bubble_burst 16
You are an "Stralian" mate! Not a ****. Don't tell me your dad drives a Holden too that would cement your position as a Bogan.
jtfrisch 22
If your gonna ******* curse do it ******* right, bitch
ForkymeetsPorky 15
Hey, if your gonna swear at a game, do it right. Make sure you use language like "******* fucktard", "******* Gay Ass Pussy", and the ever delightful "I will murder you and your entire family you annoying gay ass squeaker. **** off." Next you must throw your controller at the TV. But to truly prove yourself worthy of father's praise, the controller must go THROUGH the screen, completely destroying the TV. And finally, you must hurl the Xbox/Playstation/Computer Tower/Wii U/Virtual Boy/etc. out your bedroom window, onto the street and throw it on the ground harder than a Super Bowl winning touchdown. It must be pulverized, and then hit by a semi and/or steamroller going over 150 Kph. And that will impress your father; I am sure of it. Instant respect. No more embarassment. Ever.
happyfingers 15
Well that's what you get for swearing like a girl. :P Really though, that's kinda weird. But hey, I mean, most people I knew had the opposite issue so consider yourself lucky. You have now been given permission to swear as bad and as much as you want. Use all the curse words!
alex_gen 39
You can't be that bad. I've seen a guy yell "God Bless America" every time he got killed on Call of Duty. It's not really insulting... I guess.
cmac86 23
I guess of you're gonna swear (especially down under) you need to do it so forcefully it would make the toughest sailor blush.
TXfmylifer 10
Maybe you should join the RAN. Not as good as the USN but hey, take what you can get, noncusser.
rhcpgurl 18
I'd ground you too for not being a man.
Sammeydw 22
I never understood that "swear like a little girl" thing. Because the people I know that swear the worst are female 25 and under.