By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 162
You deserved it 3 520

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I'm pretty sure you can tell a smoker from a non smoker. Just tell your mom to check his teeth

Just tell your mom that you need your dad there for "support".


I'm pretty sure you can tell a smoker from a non smoker. Just tell your mom to check his teeth

not always. but fairplay to OP for taking the blame for his dad. see if your dad could come along too seeing as it should be for him anyway :)

It depends on how long he had been smoking. It might not have been very long, in which case the yellow teeth and smoker's cough wouldn't have set in yet

Not always a true given. I've smoked about a pack a day since 7th grade, and my teeth are still white (no, I do not use a tooth-whiting kit), and I don't have a smoker's cough either. I may just be an exception, but I'm positive I'm not the only one out there.

#15 you do know a "smokers cough" happens when a smoker quits, right? its all the chemicals and other nastiness leaving the system. unless someone's been a smoker for 20/30 years and, as such, have underlying health problems related to their smoking it shouldn't cause a persistent cough. the easiest way to know if someone smokes is if their clothes consistently smell of smoke, they could use deodorant after every cigarette, but its unlikely.

Reapy - Uh, no dear. A smoker's cough is a persistent cough that smokers get, usually after smoking for a long time. It has nothing to do with quitting. It has to do with paralysed cilia in the respiratory tract. Look it up. Very little pisses me off more than people who don't know a goddamned thing about medicine spreading medical misinformation.

Schizomaniac 24

Did you know you can prevent pregnancy by having the girl on top? It has to do with the nasty boy chemicals leaving the body before it can make her pregnant.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

You liar, 34! I got this chick pregnant taking your advice! Why!? Why would you tell me something like that!? I'm sending you the child support, pal. Goodbye, USA, here I come Mexico!

When I was a teen, my girl friend's dad used to ask to smell her fingers every time she came home. I didn't know why at the time? It was to see if she was holding a cigarette and smoking it. :P

They could do a blood test for tobacco on you and your father if you wanted objective proof.

Ops dad is a problem, that they'll nevvvver solve. And noooooo matter what you can't take that from him...

They can do tests to check if you're a smoker, insurance companies do it before they give you life insurance. Or you could sit him in a glass room and see how long he lasts:)

It's fairly hard to get rid of the smell of cigarette smoke, it gets into everything, clothes, hair so it shouldn't be too hard for the OP's dad to be found out unless he goes to the trouble of changing/washing his clothes and has a shower after every smoke session. When I was encouraging my wife to give up the smokes she tried all kinds of tricks to hide the fact she had had one, but I always knew, even hours later just from the smell. Also it should be obvious to the therapist that OP isn't smoking and he/she could tell the OP's mum.

Just tell your mom that you need your dad there for "support".

Allennis44 16

Not a bad idea

or time to blackmail the dad sarcasm

Tell your dad you won't rat him out as long as he takes you to do something fun during those 2 hours each weekend and ditch the actual appointment.

or make a deal including that he stops smoking

Fuck that. How immature is he that he can't even own up to what he did? It will probably come back to bite him in the ass in one way or another

In the form of lung cancer.

Amen. Karmas a bitch.

summerguy97 16

Wow. Perfect way to cover your ass: blame the kids.

Tell your mom the truth she should believe you

One hopes

u don't have to tell the truth, take the blame and Ur dad will owe u one later

Mom can't handle the truth.

I don't know. Teenagers lie to their parents a lot, in general (don't need the few good ones telling me not everyone does, I know every rule has exceptions). Most people would rather believe their spouse. But, being a smoker who has tried a few times to quit, if I knew my husband had been a smoker I'd know it was his stash. When quitting there are moments I'd kill everyone on Earth just to get a smoke. OP, if your dad ever does quit tell me how he did it.

associating a bad habit with pain can help. for example: my ex was a heavy smoker, so to help him quit I made him wear an elastic around his wrist and whenever he felt like smoking he'd snap the elastic to distract him from the craving

I am sure Op told her they were not his. She didn't believe him then, why would she believe him now? What I would do is tell your mom you want to go to the doctor's to get a chest x-ray to see if you "damaged" your lungs. Then tell the doctor what happened and have the x-ray as proof there is no damage to your lungs from smoke.

Well, you just got smoked.

r4vleen 8


Pretty sure you're thinking. "Thanks Dad".

Shootermtd25 7

No shit Sherlock

Knightchaser27 25

I would be thinking about revenge

She would be able to tell I think your moms in denial

Well, the only thing you can do now between therapy sessions is to help mum find "your dads" hidden stash of ****, condoms, vodka bottles, etc., right?

Oh you got smoked