Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Gosh. Dang it, OP. What the heck were you thinking? You must have sounded like an effin ice hole. Son of a mother trucker.
jondillboy 17
Interesting reason for being grounded.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
vffjvsegb 11
I've never had that complaint before.
queerdragon 20
Your father is looking out for you. When a male leaves the pride and goes out in search of his own life, he will need to have three skills: 1. A motherfucking nasty ass **** spewing anal leakage of a snack hole. 2. Manly chest hair. 3. A penis like a Deathstar. Your father has to keep his man card, he is only looking out for you.
SJParker 13
Your comment really caught me off guard.
rockne93 17
Yikes
life_sucks225 13
The Deathstar is circular
queerdragon 20
Exactly.
SnowboardingLife 6
Wut.. I just don't know how to react...
diving_fml 30
Learn to swear better and you won't be grounded.
mFUNdo21 17
or he will get grounded for swearing
ThaPrelude 11
@42 the FML states he was not grounded for cursing but cursing like a pansy. just clearing that up for ya!
HeartOfLead 24
Hmm, you're embarrassing your father in front of his friends? Sounds like role reversal to me!
olpally 33
Tell him to "go **** himself" in more of a manly way. What an asshole.
NessaMae 19
Well, I'm a young girl and I swear like a sailor. So I don't know what your dad's trying to get at.
FrankHotpants 31
What is it with these swear like a sailor sayings?....it's ******* bullshit.
worldclassrager 41
That's a new one...
Wizzlbang 10
You wouldn't happen to be 12 and playing call of duty online, were you?
jw90 18
Well don't cuss at your games like a little bitch.
UlondaRoshelle 3
LOL!