Miscellaneous: Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a...

By pantsareathing - 13/06/2015 17:10 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 422

You deserved it 2 442

Miscellaneous

Our house, in the middle of our street

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Friend's best friend

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 195

You deserved it 1 707

By ineedalife - 02/02/2013 12:08 - Australia

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 22 379

Could've been the One

By Courtney - 10/10/2021 16:57

Today, I received a message telling me the guy I was seeing just wasn’t feeling the “vibe”. This would be fine, if he hadn’t given me the best sex, and the only sex I’ve enjoyed, in years and years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 160

By bored - 27/11/2012 18:05 - United States

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 310

You deserved it 5 647

By bananaface - 16/11/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 480

You deserved it 32 080

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 254

By bookworm - 19/11/2014 20:56 - United States - Victoria

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 630

You deserved it 5 886

By NoBabies - 09/11/2014 04:06 - United States - Tucson

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 464

You deserved it 4 970

By Jayswizzle - 11/08/2010 08:10 - United States

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 081

You deserved it 4 573

By Tara - 31/10/2008 07:06 - Sweden

Today, I baby sat a four-year old kid, because his parents went partying. Once in bed, he yells "I want to go party!!". After 3 or 4 times, I told him to go to sleep. 2 hours later, wet bed. "Told you I want to go potty!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 957

You deserved it 52 197

By spaceforrent - 16/11/2012 05:51 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 290

You deserved it 2 994

Connecting people

By sam - 02/12/2020 23:01

Today, I learned that the person my ex-girlfriend left me for is my ex-girlfriend from before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 121

By meohmy - 31/03/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 798

You deserved it 6 007

By Sad_homeowners - 20/10/2016 15:45 - United States - Pierre

Today, I'm still not living in the house I fought so hard to buy three months ago. As I was fixing a hole in the wall, I found black mold covering the back side of my drywall. On every wall. I can't afford to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 220

You deserved it 1 412

By foreverAlone - 04/04/2016 19:40 - United States - Chesapeake Beach

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 326

You deserved it 5 191

By Anonymous - 24/09/2015 17:07 - United States - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 450

You deserved it 6 045

It's about time

By peetime - 24/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom taking the dog to the vet, when he peed on me. We were taking him there because he hadn't peed in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 72

By gonkc - 04/03/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 722

You deserved it 15 181

By lonerboner - 03/10/2012 13:47 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 007

You deserved it 37 125

By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 712

You deserved it 83 897

By Donewiththis - 21/06/2016 05:35

Today, my cat was diagnosed with FIV, to which my in-laws said, "That's impossible!" Apparently, what is possible though is that aliens are stealing their pool water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 951

You deserved it 844

Felt cute, might delete myself later

By being a fairy is hard - 28/10/2021 08:00

Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 326

By blarg - 30/01/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 961

You deserved it 27 451

By Anonymous - 30/01/2016 06:47 - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral I was told to man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 751

You deserved it 1 800

By mild banana - 16/06/2016 16:55 - United States - Cedar Hill

Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 893

You deserved it 1 206

Parked, indefinitely

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 04:00

Today, my mom told me I wouldn't be able to take driver's education until at least my sixteenth birthday, because I'm, "Not ready to drive a car." Isn't that the whole point of driver's ed? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 353

By jonh_215 - 08/04/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 942

You deserved it 3 979

By momac86 - 19/01/2015 06:34 - United States

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 116

You deserved it 4 196

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 01/09/2020 00:30 - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 121

Instadrama

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 20:00

Today, after suspecting that my boyfriend was cheating while I was out of town, I came across an Instagram picture of him with another girl. I found out that he told her he was single. When I confronted him in a comment, the girl’s friend replied, "He clearly likes her more than you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 516

By Anonymous - 06/07/2010 06:11 - United States

Today, I held the door open for an old man in a motorized wheelchair. He missed the door, hit my foot, and called me an asshole for getting in his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 235

You deserved it 4 416

By Dumped - 06/04/2017 14:00

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 341

By FreakinthePink - 06/12/2010 07:20

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 111

You deserved it 3 037

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 459

You deserved it 124 695

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 149

You deserved it 9 889

By moodyreallyrocks - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 2 865

Vultures

By Anonymous - 12/05/2020 20:00

Today, after spending a few weeks getting to know my birth father and thinking he seemed decent, he's realised my adoptive parents aren’t rich and no, I can’t lend him a few grand. Now, he’s vanished and written several nasty Facebook posts about not being able to trust family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 229

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 03/08/2014 17:36 - Sweden - Kristianstad

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 029

You deserved it 4 415

Math ain't easy

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 15:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 59

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Top comments

bethers_ 22

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:33

At least he's not walking around naked. It could be worse.

Cads1 24

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:37

His house his rules I guess.

bethers_ 22

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:33

At least he's not walking around naked. It could be worse.

Seabass_Chan 33

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:34

When it's your father, it can't possibly be worse.

bethers_ 22

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:36

If given the unfortunate choice, I would rather see my father in underwear than naked lol

allforfun 23

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:33

Look at the bright side: your dad could wear thongs.

Warmonger_Smurf 29

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:39

*Puts down tablet.* *Begins search for mind bleach.*

604 11

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:33

You won't be complaining after his first cook is done and the money starts flowing in.

goldcock19 9

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:59

Ahah I get it Walter White

wchil 14

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Sunday 14 June 2015 21:15

no Geoffrey gold

GuineaPig721 13

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:33

I pray they're clean for your sake, OP. FYL

Warmonger_Smurf 29

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:35

Just play "peanut butter jelly time" until he gets dressed. That song is annoying enough to get him to do anything.

MrZsDad 19

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Sunday 14 June 2015 10:13

As a father of teenagers...Do you want to play a game?

Makko 20

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:36

Well, I can understand him if he were out in the middle of nowhere.... I mean, being in Alaska I have a different thought on it. But yeah, could be worse...

mustangbravo 27

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:37

Is he pulling them off?

EPIKxPANDA 13

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Sunday 14 June 2015 9:37

Sooo.. What's wrong with that? At least your not seeing his bits..

JazNim17 18

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Sunday 14 June 2015 16:03

Exactly what I was thinking. My dad and brother wear nothing but underwear around the house all the time. It's really no big deal.

Niz_DD 14

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Monday 15 June 2015 4:27

So what if it was his mother or sister wearing nothing but underwear? I suppose that would be ok as well?

tantanpanda 26

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Monday 15 June 2015 14:15

^sure, it's family; no need to make it a big deal. You're the one making it awkward, not the family member. like if you meet your ex. It's only as awkward as you make it out to be.