Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Happy birthday to you
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Men and their balls
Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML
Birthday Boy
Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML
Nice to know
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
Pull yourself together
Today, in Las Vegas, after taking my drunk dad and his drunk friend to their respective hotel rooms, I realised that I, despite being 16 years-old, am the responsible one. FML
Top comments
chazzlerazzle 0
Dude don't worry if he really didn't want you he would of falcon punched your mom right in the stomach when he found out she was pregnant
Insane_Tea 15
At least your mother isn't having a fifteen years over-due abortion...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
TypicalTroll 0
What is a vasectomy?
shazza26 1
In that case, did your dad throw you an early sweet sixteen party this year?
chels1994 11
He's just bustin your balls. It's what dads do
Justin23L 2
Playing the 'regretting your existece and creation' card is tad more than ball busting.
ebxr82nv 2
Harden up princess
ninja1216 0
Plus nine months of pregnancy so he is right
Alexisthebestest 16
Actually, you're pregnant for 10 months.
maphineRAWRS 10
lolwut
needsagf14 12
Kick his groin
iilovecokee 6
I wouldn't worry about it too much. People aren't too precise about numbers, I'm sure he was just rounding. :)
ilovejosh63 0
your an a s s
saddgurl 0
You should of said "Well atleast I'm not getting my balls chopped off, HA"
saddgurl 0
Or not you might get grounded