davidh5012
United States
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
LuckySperm
United Kingdom
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
TMI
United States
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Anonymous
Toledo, United States
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Anonymous
United States
Happy birthday to you
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Anonymous
Men and their balls
Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML
Anonymous
Birthday Boy
Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML
rejectedson
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Nice to know
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Star_Wars_Lover
Dallas, United States
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
ohgosh1428
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Las Vegas, United States
Pull yourself together
Today, in Las Vegas, after taking my drunk dad and his drunk friend to their respective hotel rooms, I realised that I, despite being 16 years-old, am the responsible one. FML
Top comments
chazzlerazzle 0
Dude don't worry if he really didn't want you he would of falcon punched your mom right in the stomach when he found out she was pregnant
Insane_Tea 15
At least your mother isn't having a fifteen years over-due abortion...
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Comments (140)
Insane_Tea 15
I just now realized someone else beat me to the joke I had thought of and I apologize for my in-originality.
cheefer 0
I think a voluntary 6 month ban from FML is appropriate. Thanks for being a **** up.
SteveTheJanitor 6
Maybe he was meant to have it right after you were conceived. Don't jump to conclusions...
gordogirls 4
This was my first thought too
alival 12
Aaww! Maybe he was joking, I'm sure he loves you very much!
snickerpuss 9
15years + 9 months pregnancy, if you're 15 years and 6 months old, he could've had the vasectomy after he gets your mom pregnant.
marinus_fml 20
But he didn't.
wisese 0
No 28, you missed what 21 was trying to say. Depending on when OP's birthday is, he may have been conceived over 15 years ago. You have to consider the 9 months inside mom. For example, my birthday is next month. Had my dad had a vasectomy 23 years ago, it would have been AFTER I was conceived. I'd still be here, my brother wouldn't.
marinus_fml 20
39, you're missing the point of the FML. OP is stating that his father wished or wanted to have a vasectomy 16 years ago, (before OP was conceived) or maybe he didn't want it at the time, but in hindsight wishes he had because op is a **** up or something. 21 is saying maybe OP father had a vasectomy after he was conceived... But the FML states otherwise...
racquel102811 0
Why are you guys arguing over this no one cares.ijs
CherriePie05 0
Yea all of tht is confusing:S
docscientist 10
Yeah, I'm really sure OP's father crunched the numbers on this one...
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Or....the mom cheated on the dad and blah blah blah... Kid was born bla blah blah....in 3-4 years they're gonna break the news to OP blah blah blah...The End
Dust_In_My_Bum 1
I gave you a thumbs up because you are very hot. ;)
IndigoFuckYou 9
Shut up. Everyone shut up. What if this kid is 15 years and 3 or 4 months old? Just...do the math. I wont explain it past that, you guys are smart. (HAHahahahaaa. Hah.)
mason_sweat 0
21- I get that your trying to make it better but because of the fact that it's on FML I think we both know otherwise...also I checked out your profile, will you marry me?
Rachel1987 4
At least you're alive.
zenrael 21
Your life doesn't suck, apparently, your parents life sucks.
StoryOfTheYear 15
You already had him beat a year before you were even born. Dang man, you're an overachiever. :D
carroll12 0
you are adddorable(:
bebe088 0
Hey! Be happy your here then(:
ty1992_farmlife 12
Ouch! Parents thinking out loud again lol
regsworld11 2
Hmm, that's a sucky way to find out you are adopted. I'm sorry OP.
Pufferfish78 5
Where did you get the idea OP was adopted?
JRockk 2
i believe op is saying that dad finally had his vasectomy which he should have gotten 16 years earleir... (1 year before op was born)
regsworld11 2
Oh my gosh, I totally read this wrong and too fast, I'm sorry! Lol(:
wrussian101 0
hmu [email protected]