Love, Weddings and Parents: Nice to know - FML

Nice to know

By rejectedson - 15/10/2009 23:23 - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 2 257

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Googlebug - 01/11/2010 10:15 - United States

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 2 542

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 242

You deserved it 3 050

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 21:03 - United States - Newport

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 862

You deserved it 2 174

By Toloveornottolove - 12/06/2016 16:08 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 189

You deserved it 1 124

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 1 157

By Anonymous - 16/07/2012 00:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 979

You deserved it 2 248

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 351

You deserved it 3 324

By Upset - 10/06/2013 23:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 055

You deserved it 4 230

By Kellye - 16/09/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 2 527

Next

Top comments

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 16 October 2009 10:48

Maybe his wife is so ugly he didn't want you to see her. Perfectly understandable! Nah, I'm joking, he's an ass. Make her a widow.

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 16 October 2009 9:22

Must have eloped

Comments

4dakill 0

Friday 16 October 2009 9:20

first!!!

Les_Paul_Player 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 23:07

well, look on the bright side....its better than him paying some random guy to tattoo "Im Gettin Married! Love, Dad" on their chest and flash you

hershey098 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:33

YDI he probably thought u would try too have sex with a rihno

TooMany 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 4:21

lol win OP's name

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 16 October 2009 9:22

Must have eloped

epeets 1

Friday 16 October 2009 9:23

f u mr.1st. anyways, did you curse his ass out? what a dick!

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 16 October 2009 10:43

*Tries to see buried comment* :O I wonder if this is a new feature or if the website is just ******...

rainbow_laces 0

Friday 16 October 2009 16:39

Me too :S

Zoa_fml 0

Friday 16 October 2009 9:36

well I learned oft fathers marriage through an announcement in the newspaper after it happened, read to me by his supposed girlfriend and mother of 2 of his children...so it could be worse

abcdork 0

Friday 16 October 2009 10:45

Found out via newpaper too. Same with when he had a kid.

DravensMommy 0

Friday 16 October 2009 17:06

I found out my dad got married through pictures on his website three months after the wedding.

yesikahh 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 1:41

I found out about my dads marriage through Myspace. Laaaaaame. & He didnt even tell me. I asked his ex girlfriend & she told me that i was right, that they had gotten married.

rayne13 4

Monday 19 October 2009 20:06

I found out about my mother's most recent marriage (#3) on April 4th. She got married April 2nd.

wrongpussy 0

Friday 16 October 2009 9:51

you'll be getting a voicemail from me next.. oh, by the way im your new step mommy ;)

Asstazztic 8

Friday 16 October 2009 10:05

maybe daddy doesn't like u o.O sry man fyl

JoseCuervo 0

Friday 16 October 2009 10:17

Wow, a voicemail? How thoughtful. Now this is the part where you sell his car and inform him with an e-mail.

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 16 October 2009 10:48

Maybe his wife is so ugly he didn't want you to see her. Perfectly understandable! Nah, I'm joking, he's an ass. Make her a widow.

Asstazztic 8

Friday 16 October 2009 10:53

hahaha I love u intoxicunt :)

lol_genius 0

Friday 16 October 2009 14:40

Lol funnily enough the same happened to me except he called me and told me he was married as a side note a whole month after it happened and trust me with time that wound will heal (a long time)

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, while interviewing for a job, I was greeted by the interviewer with a handshake and a greeting of, "Hello Victoria, my name is Bill." I responded with, "Hello. My name is Bill." I think it's safe to assume I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 459

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 279

Today, my mother started fostering a child to make some money. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she didn't make me babysit the kid and take him to and from school every day because she's "too busy". I work full-time and she's unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 281

You deserved it 508

Today, I gave a financial presentation to my entire firm. After it was over, somebody accidentally copied me on a group text that said, "Her zipper was open the whole time. If we're so successful, why is our CFO wearing a urine-stained store-brand K-Mart panties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 755

You deserved it 995

Today, my workplace's new policy requires me to ask employees why they're calling out sick. I had to listen to the answer, "When it comes out of your bum, like a bullet from a gun…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 140

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to weekly talks about anything that is bothering us, since we’ve been arguing a lot lately. So far, every talk has been her moaning at me about how I annoy her, yet when I try to have my say, she interrupts or yells at me for blaming her for our problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 181