davidh5012
United States
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
LuckySperm
United Kingdom
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
TMI
United States
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Anonymous
Toledo, United States
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Anonymous
United States
Happy birthday to you
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Anonymous
Men and their balls
Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML
Anonymous
Birthday Boy
Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML
rejectedson
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Nice to know
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Star_Wars_Lover
Dallas, United States
Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML
ohgosh1428
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Las Vegas, United States
Pull yourself together
Today, in Las Vegas, after taking my drunk dad and his drunk friend to their respective hotel rooms, I realised that I, despite being 16 years-old, am the responsible one. FML
Top comments
chazzlerazzle 0
Dude don't worry if he really didn't want you he would of falcon punched your mom right in the stomach when he found out she was pregnant
Insane_Tea 15
At least your mother isn't having a fifteen years over-due abortion...
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Comments (140)
kristat 14
Some people just aren't ready for a child, and he was probably one of those people. It doesn't mean you did something bad, he probably just wasn't as good a parent as he thought he should be.
Justin23L 2
No, I think he just didnt want a kid
watawataboy 6
What is a vasectomy?
Pufferfish78 5
Some thing your parents should have had before you were conceived?
marinus_fml 20
Vasectomy: (verb) The act of getting someone pregnant through oral sex. It happens when the person swallowed the cum. Very rare chance of getting pregnant this way.
marinus_fml 20
34- In other words, op is trying to say when his mum swallowed his dads cum, mummy accidentally became pregnant. Op knows his dad didn't intend him to be born, rather they just had some fun that night.
ArcadePie 10
It's when they cut off your penis with a siscors
MrsLaferriere 0
A vasectomy is when a man has his vas defrens surgically "shut." much like when a woman has her tubes tied.
Babydoll4ever 7
A vasectomy is when they take out your uterus, and replace it with a second belly button.
ohmandapants 17
34- are you kidding? Seriously? I think you're just trolling. If not, google exists for a reason.
KiddNYC1O 22
Stfu, guys. This person is obviously not of age if they're asking for its meaning...
mfbeezy11 0
Awe
ArcadePie 10
Before my dad got a vesectomy he said he didn't want "another mistake" and im an only child :(
InnocentDesires 9
No child is a mistake. You're here for a reason. :)
Enslaved 38
Sorry, I'm confused with this FML. What is the OP bitching about? Does he want a sibling or something?
yetanotherginger 19
No he's bitching because he can't take a joke made by his dad calling him a mistake. And if his dad was being serious then the OP shouldn't be such a little shit, then his dad wouldn't regret him
bananagrams 9
^^You seem mad at OP like they did something wrong...
daminantion 14
^^ what 47 said. Read my comment above replying to the other guy
CherriePie05 0
Whats OP stand for?
CherriePie05 0
Whats OP stand for?
FlyingWhisps 5
He comes back when he leaves for work everyday, doesn't he? That's how you know he cares.
bananagrams 9
So prove him wrong by becoming the best son/daughter the world has ever seen! I'll give you a hint: parents love it when you tidy up the house
perdix 31
He's saying that at age 15, you're a huge disappointment, so you might as well go all-in: drop out of school, smoke dope and play video games. Unless that's what your dad does. In that case, become a world-renowned scholar with many expensive degrees.
thericcanator 4
What an ass wipe!
linkinpark98 24
Wow...tough life. xD