Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
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Comments (220)
Gunz24 0
you mean 110. electricity is 110 in the states and overseas they have 220. hit the gym
00749200 14
Actually it is 120vac depending on your incoming line voltage a transformer output is if you get the full 120 sometimes the coils are overloaded and you only get 110-115 vac but it's considered 120 and you still have 220vac as you said here on the states but it's actually 240vac in houses that's a single phase 240/120 vac circuit for houses it's actually simple but I'm an electrician so keep your comments away if you don't know what your talking about and just so you know vac= voltage alternating current but you wouldn't understand
disney_blonde 16
85 is way too skinny for a guy, even for a girl.
FMLandurstoo 9
I'm a 14 year old guy who weighs 90 pounds. I'm not anorexic I just have an extremely high metabolism. I just burn through everything I eat.
nlr 9
same but I'm 16 75pounds and I'm a girl but yeah
jasonrellet 22
Profile says you are 19
lerouxmaster 7
Epic win is epic.
Kiyoha 0
#80 Sorry, but I'm not American and I've always been taught that customary measurements=centimetres, metres, kilos, grams etc. Also, (centi)metres and kilo(grams) are more accurate than pounds and feet.
kasumii 1
Yes they are more accurate! I am not an American, but I went to an American school so I was taught the American system and was like what the F?
birdfreak 24
did u break anything? I'm srry
Kiyoha 0
Hmm, fail, I wanted to say #70.
97090370 0
I'm 13 and only weigh 78 pounds, and I'm a perfectly normal girl...
inevality 12
Damn, you make me feel fat. Dx I'm 13 also and I weigh 115 lbs, and I'm 5'5". xP
nlr 9
I'm 16 5'6 and 75 pounds... 136 my sister who is 17 is 115 and she's not fat so I highly doubt your fat...
madixo 0
wow, I cheerlead and my 12 year old 4'11' flyer weighs 95 pounds and she's considered unhealthy. I'm 115 and considered underweight, too. OP better be lying...
randomosity11 3
Guys, the OP is probably just lying about their weight to make the FML "better"