Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (220)
marleyvk 0
Are you like 9, severely anorexic (and I don't mean to be rude), or a 'little person'?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
85?! wtf, how old are you? 10? lmao XD
im_coool 0
avenged sevenfold; AMAZING!(:
IrishWildMan 3
He forgot to say "trust fall!" before falling back.
midnightsun123 2
hahaha win xD
chippa 24
I am two of you, OP. o.o
Korill 3
And thats why we get electricians
underguarded 20
The electric shock wasn't an accident. He was just trying to figure out how to transfer his fat to you!
giantsfan2010 23
I like how people are all making comments about the weight rather than the actual fml haha.
QWERTYCommander 5
85 pounds? OP, I was that weight when I was 8, and I wasn't overweight. Either you're really young, a midget, or anorexic. Or you're a starving person in a third world country, but I highly doubt that since you're on the internet.
tweetbaby14 18
maybe it's more difficult for him to gain weight. I was 85-93 until I was 15 not because I didn't eat( I loved food) but because I had a very fast metabolism. OP, could possibly be the same.
tweetbaby14 18
*and I was around about 5'-5'3".
ballard1229 0
eat a ****** sandwich, what are you a 8 year old girl?
Alexxcunningham 0
I bet the OP is like, 5' 2" and Asian. that's the only time someone can be 85 pounds and alive
chippa 24
Wouldn't he have to be less than 5'2 for that weight to be considered healthy? edit: Oops, you said alive. But my question remains!
BitchynessIsGod 4
I have a vagaterian friend that's about 5'2" and weighs 75-ish pounds, no it's not healthy, but she struggling to gain weight, she doesn't like being so skinny....
Sinkhole 26
I hope your friend is lying about her weight, 'cause if she were really 5'2" and 75 pounds, her BMI would be 13.7, way under the 15 BMI, which is used as an indicator for starvation. If you check the charts, not even 11 year old girls should have such a low BMI.
xxxtrisxxx 2
my mothers in the medical field, she doesn't use BMIs that precisely, same with most doctors. the problem with them is how general they are. you can be perfectly healthy and either over or under the BMI. it's just to give a broad outline on things, but it can't weight out muscle mass to fat ratio, medical history and current medical drawbacks or positive aspects that could be effecting your weight and size. I have a friend that's about 5'3" and 80-90lbs, and she's totally healthy. she's gone to doctors about it many times and shes fine.
Sinkhole 26
Yes, it can't weigh muscle to fat ratio, but muscle weighs more than fat, so if there really was more muscle than fat, the weight shouldn't be so low. I know that BMI is not used for medical diagnosis, but it's a good tool to classify sedentary people into underweight or overweight groups. The biggest problem with the BMI is when it's used on athletes, children and elderly or infirm people. So, the problem with muscle to fat ratio is mostly for athletes, 'cause they can appear overweight when they are really not. BMI is not that precise when it comes to determine someone is overweight, but it is still used as a measure of underweight. I was in the medical field and we definitely used it.
killabee 0
For someone who is 5'2 a healthy weight range would be from about 105-125. 85lbs being obviously, way out of that range. An 85lbs 5'2 person would be extrememly underweight. Like hospitalized on life support, severe anorexia, brink of death type underweight.